Whenever dogs are seen travelling around with nothing to do and old maids refuse their tea, and hop vines wont klimb, and grind stuns wont grind, then yu may expekt a lite crop ov oats, and beans wont pay for harvesting. If the sun rizes in the east, and sets in the west, and the bull frogs sings sams in the marshes, and thare aint no pulling hair in the family circle, things are about az near right az yu can git them. Should there be no dew on the grass, in the morning before sunrise, it iz an infallible prognostix, that thare didn't enny dew fall. Whenever yu see two crows on the railfence, one white and the other black, edgeing up to each other, look out for a nigger in the wood pile. 31 Days. DECEMBER. 1871. Q.--What is pity? @ @ @ @ @ A.--Cheap charity, @ @ @ @ @ [Illustration] _Now kil pigs and bucher hens, Murder geese and ducks that quack, Chop down wood, and sassage make, And evenings play----Hylojack._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _History._ | _OYSTER PADDYS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| F || @ 1871 haz | One ov the fussyest scenes i | | 2| S || about pegged | ever beheld waz two old maids | | 3| G || out @ | waiting on one sick bachelor. | | 4| M || _bitter cold_ @ @ | | | 5| T || @ Homer waz a | * * * * * | | 6| W || good poet | | | 7| T || eggs dredful | Revenge iz just az natral to | | 8| F || uncommon @ | flow az milk,--yu will see little | | 9| S || _grate sno storm_ @ | boys club the post that they bump | |10| G || @ Congress iz a | their head against. | |11| M || sitting @ @ | | |12| T || _cold_ @ but don't | * * * * * | |13| W || @ hatch out ennything | | |14| T || @ _wind_ | Opinyuns are like turnips, worth | |15| F || _north_ @ @ | just what they will fetch. | |16| S || beware of false | | |17| G || proffits _ice iz_ | * * * * * | |18| M || _from 12 inches to_ | | |19| T || _a foot thick_ @ @ | Courage without discreshun, iz | |20| W || Soloman waz a | like a ram with horns on both | |21| T || smart man @ | ends, he will hav more fights on | |22| F || @ _sighns ov a thaw_ | hand, than he kan do justiss to. | |23| S || he waz a good | | |24| G || judge ov the sex @ | * * * * * |