|25| M || _colder_ @ the | | |26| T || year drops its | When yu find a man who iz | |27| W || curtain @ _the wind_ | very solisitus about the welfare ov | |28| T || _moans_ @ farewell | everyboddy, yu kan safely put him | |29| F || my countrymen @ | down az one who iz hunting for a | |30| S || | misfortune. | |31| G || | | +--+---+-------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _LETTER TO FARMERS._ _Beloved Farmers_: Agrikultur iz the mother ov farm produce; she iz also the step-mother ov gardin sass. Rize at haff past 2 o'clock in the morning, bild up a big fire in the kitchen, burn out two pounds ov kandels, and grease yure boots. Wait pashuntly for da brake. When day duz brake, then commense tew stir up the geese and worry the hogs. Too mutch sleep iz ruinous tew geese and tew hogs. Remember yu kant git ritch on a farm, unless yu rize at 2 o'clock in the morning, and stir up the hogs and worry the geese. The happyest man in the world iz the farmer; he rizes at 2 o'clock in the morning, he watches for da lite tew brake, and when she duz brake, he goes out and stirs up the geese and worrys the hogs. What iz a lawyer?--What iz a merchant?--What iz a doktor?--What iz a minister?--I answer, nothing A farmer iz the nobless work ov God; he rizes at 2 o'clock in the morning, and burns out a haff a pound ov wood and two kords ov kandels, and then goes out tew worry the geese and stir up the hogs. Beloved farmers, adew. Josh Billings. _EXTRAKT OV LETTERS_. _Fredom Senter, Nov. 17th, 1870._ FRIEND BILLINGS: Thi Allmanax for 1871 waz good for the flesh, az well az for the soul ov man; it fatted me distinktly on the ribs. _I remane thine._ _Obadiah Broadbrim._ * * * * * MR. BILLINGS: We shall hereafter embody yure Allmanaxes in our journal. _Editor of London Athaneum._ * * * * * DEAR JOSH BILLINGS: Enklosed in this letter, yu will find 17 cents for one allmanaxt; i am poor, and this iz all the money i hav got, and i haint got no live mother. _Charley Briggs, Jun._ * * * * * _Klamburgh, Oktober 30, 1870._ DEAR MISSER JOSH: The lor bles yuse, and yuse allmanaksts for 1871; it made dis chile perspire gratuitussly wid bliss. Yure cullud person friend, _Josepheen Johnsing._ * * * * * MISTER JOSHUA BILLINGS: I hav both ov yure 2 allmanaxes for 1870 and 1871, and wish yu would send me bi the barrow yure allmanaxes for 1872 and 1873 and 1874, exklusive. I will emit the munny in a fu daze. No more now from yure loveing friend, _Jerusha Sheldon_, dauter ov widdo Sheldon, near Spraker's Mill, on the Coshokton pike. _HOROSKOPE FOR JANUARY._