Perhaps thare iz no subjek that moste men agree on so well bi the gallon, but when it comes down tew a drink, that they are so full ov noshuns about, az their rum. I hav seen lots ov old-fashioned people, who never thought ov drinking tanzy, unless they put rum into it, and wouldn't no more drink a gin-coktale without nutmeg on the top ov it, than they would skim milk. Then agin their iz sum who must hav Jamaka, or the bronkeetis, one, or tuther; and sum who must hav the belly-ake 3 or 4 times a day, or they kant relish brandee and sugar. But thare waz one beardless boy, over whose hed skase 14 summers had melted, who beats them awl, he aktually hove a fust class mint julek away, and called for anuther, jist bekause it wouldn't suk fast enuff, through the straw; I call this letting a man's good sense git the better ov his judgment. Rum noshuns are like gitting struk with litening, the theory iz well enuff, but the praktis is a bad one tew git into. RELIGIOUS CREED NOSHUNS. The idee that thare iz onla one way tew git tew Heaven iz awl rong, but the idee that there iz but one Heaven tew git tew, iz awl right. Az a gineral thing nations go tew war for the most ornary things, so men will fite the wust kind, for a religious noshun, that they hain't got the fust smell of. I dont care, for mi part, whether a man iz a piscopaleyen, or a soft shell baptiss, nor I don't think the Lord duz nuther. Religious creed noshuns for man, are like the scent the foxes leave for the hounds, the less thare iz ov it, the more kerful the dorg hunts, and the less likely he iz tew take enny uther trak. XVI. SAYINS. If yu hav got a real good wife, kepe perfectly still, and thank God evry twenty minnitts for it. A man with one idee alwus put me in mind ov an old goose a tryin to hatch out a paving stun. "Honesta is the best polisy," but dont take mi wurd for it, tri it. Menny a book has bin writ, which proved tu be an obituara notis ov the author. Tha tells us "that munny is the rute ov all evil;" and then tell us "tu rute hog or di." A man running for offiss puts me in minde ov a dog that's lost--he smells ov everybody he meets, and wags hisself all over. Look out, galls! the Jack of hartes is alwus a nave. Gravity is very often mistakin for wisdum, but thare is as much differ as thare is between a gide board and the man who maid it. Evra man has a goose that lays golden eggs, if he only nu it. XVII. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS. "_Lines tu a sleeping infant_, bi Alice," receaved. Tha are tender, dredful tender, almost tu tender, tu keep thru this hot spel; yu hav talons ov the highest order, but yu must kross yure t's, or yu kant suckeed in portri; good bi Alice!