Enny man who is willing tu drive a mule, ought to be exempt by law from running for the legislatur. Tha are the strongest creeturs on earth, and heaviest, ackording tu their sise; I herd tell ov one who fell oph from the tow path, on the Eri kanawl, and sunk as soon as he touched bottom, but he kept rite on towing the boat tu the nex stashun, breathing thru his ears, which stuck out ov the water about 2 feet 6 inches; i did'nt see this did, but an auctioneer told me ov it, and i never knew an auctioneer tu lie unless it was absolutely convenient. II. JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE. I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent of the "Garden Angel life insurance Co.," and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, and az pretty a little belly on him az enny man ever owned:-- QUESTIONS. 1st--Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so. 2d--Are yu subjec tu fits, and if so, do yu hav more than one at a time? 3d--What is yure precise fiteing weight? 4th--Did yu ever have enny ancestors, and if so, how much? 5th--What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality ov the 10 commandments! 6th--Du yu ever hav enny nite mares? 7th--Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor? 8th--Do yu beleave in a futer state? if yu du, state it. 9th--What are yure private sentiments about a rush ov rats tu the head; can it be did successfully? 10th--Hav yu ever committed suiside, and if so, how did it seem to affect yu? After answering the above questions, like a man in the confirmatif, the slik little fat old fellow with goold specks on, ced I was insured for life, and proberly would remain so for a term ov years. I thanked him, and smiled one ov my moste pensive smiles. III. REMARKS. Tha tell me that them who hav the _harte diseaze_ are liable tu di at enny time, but i hav known thousands tew reach a mean old age with it. Fust appearances are ced tu be everything. I dont put all mi fathe into this saying; i think oysters and klams, for instanze, will bear looking into. It strains a man's philosophee the wust kind tew laff when he gits beat. Love aint one ov the vartues, bekauze it kant be controlled. Wimmin are like flowers, a little dust ov squeezing makes them the more fragrant. Charitee kant alwus be administered delikately. If you want to extrikate a crab from a dilemmer, yu hav got to take holt ov him just rite. Men liv tu a _ripe_ old age bi keeping _green_. Dont hav enny more sekrets than yu kan keep yureself. "Truth is mitey and will prevail;" so iz cider mitey, but yu hav got tew tap the barrell before it will prevale. IV. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.