Good Lord, deliver us from the Falt finder, one ov yure kronick grunters, i mean. Theze kind ov humin critters are alwuss full ov self consait; if tha waz humble and wud dam themself okasionally, i wud try tew pity them. Yure falt-finding old bachelor, for instanze, odars a pair ov No. 8 boots, and then kolides with his shumaker insted ov his big feet; he walks tew the depo tew saive hack-hire and misses the trane, and then kolides with the time-table; he kourts a gal till she has tew marry sumboddy else tew keep from spileing, and then he don't believe thare is a vartuous woman living. If he enjoys ennything he dus it under protess, and if ennyboddy else enjoys ennything he knows tha lie about it. He is like a seckund rate bull tarrier, alwus a fiteing, and alwus gitting licked. These kind ov critters never are reddy tew die, bekause tha haint never begun tew live. I never maik their ackquaintanse enny more than i dew sumboddy's small pox, bekause i am a looking after bright things and haint got enny to lose. Thare aint enny remedee for this dissease but hunger, and that aint parmanent unless it results in starvashun. Good Lord, deliver us from the falt-finder! if yu undertake tew argy with them yu onla flatter them, and if yu jine in with them yu onla maik them mad with themselfs. I had rather be a target for awl the bad luk in this wurld than tew go thru life shuteing a pizen arrow at awl the good luk. The more i think ov it, the more i keep thinking that falt-finding iz verry much like bobing for eels with a raw potater; a fust rate wa tew git out ov consait ov awl kinds ov fishing, and a fust rate wa not tew ketch enny eels. LIII. PROVERBS. Chastity iz like an isikel. if it onse melts that's the last ov it. Dew a good turn whenever yu kan even if yu hav tew turn sumboddy's grinstun tu dew it. When a man dies the fust thing we talk about iz hiz welth, the nex thing hiz failings, and the last thing hiz vartues. I suppose the "bone of contenshun" iz the collar bone. An ungrateful childe is the revenge of Heaven. After awl ced and dun the gran sekret of winning is tew win. The studdy ov humin natur is a good deal like the studdy ov dessekshun, yu finde out a good menny curis things, but it is a nasty job after awl. When a man's dog deserts him on akount ov his poverty, he kant git enny lower down in this world, not bi land. Sekrets maik a dungin of the harte, and a jailor ov its owner. Don't let us forgit that the higher up we git the smaller will things look tew us here belo. Natur haz no artifise, she plants her flowers in the gardin and in the wilderness, and endows them alike. It iz tru that welth won't maik a man vartuous, but i notis thare ain't ennyboddy who wants tew be poor jist for the purpiss ov being good. Luv iz like the meazels, we kant alwus tell when we ketched it and ain't ap tew hav it severe but onst, and then it ain't kounted mutch unless it strikes inly.