The best time ov the moon to plant beans iz when--the grownd iz aul rite. Slovens are always the fust tew caul our attenshun tew their slovenness, by their exkewses for it. Don't tawk so mutch, my friend! Yu don't kno but little, and ort tew be saving ov it. Book critiks shood be treeted az the farmers do their swine--rung, and then turned out to critysize. The man with little branes, and the man with little ammunishun, shood hunt alike; they shood take ame a good while, and then always shut, into a flock. Avoyd single burds. Deer reeder, don't find fawlt with an awthur who makes yu laff; it is no more an evidence of weekness to laff than it iz ov strength tew look mad. Menny ov the enormittys ov life have bin committed in the name ov religun--enormittys that make h--l blossom like the rose. Bewty never dies; it iz like truth; they both hav an immortality sumwhare. I hav got a fust rate opinyun ov resignashun, but i don't think enny man iz in dewty bound to thank the Lord every time sum careless cuss steps on hiz soar tow. We hear a grate deel about progresshun, and the importunse ov it, but i am just big phool enuff to think that 8 or 10 ov the new things are either false, or are old things spiled bi altering. What mankind stand most in need ov, just now, is simplissity. Men judge each other bi their suksess, not bi their undertakings; but the Lord judges bi the undertaking, not bi the suksess. Thare iz a grate deel more timidity among men than thare iz temerity; one iz the attribute ov littleness, and the other ov grateness. The best kind ov purfewm for the person, that i know ov, iz cleenness. Truth iz radicul; fickshun iz consurvativ. What a man must hav, he kan most ginnerally git. Thare iz no such thing az clozing our ize to the fakt that tilting skirts enable us to see a good deel more ov fashunable sosiety. Sudden ritches don't often improve ennybody. Vertchew walks without help, but vice goes on crutches. Thare iz one advantage in being poor: thare ain't no danger ov mistaking flattery for praze. Bobtaled peekox don't travel mutch on their pride. Take the axidents out ov this life, and how menny men iz thare who wood sukseed or fale? Friendship iz a mirror which we hold up tew uthers, tew see ourselfs in. Deep thinkers laff with their mowth. A man iz a phool just in proporshun az he iz known better bi sumboddy else than he knows himself. Novelty iz a good deel like a kitten's tale, soon played out. The world owes most ov its refinement tu 2 verry difrunt things--the Bible, and the looking-glass. Trew critysism consists in giving a man credit for the good things he sez, and not cussin him for the good things he don't say. XV. BILLIARDS. Evryboddy seems tew be gitting crazy over a new game, which haz jist bin diskovered, called billyards.