It iz played on the top ov a tabel which iz a little longer than it iz square, and the game seems tew konsist in pushing sum round red bawls agin sum round white bawls, until they drop into sum little pudding bags which are hung unto the outside ov the tabel. It takes 2 men tew play the game, but 4 or 5 can look on. They take oph their coats, and stand clus up to the tabel, with a short piece ov a fishpole in their hands, which has a chalk mark onto the end ov it. Then one begins, by giving one ov the bawls a punch in the belly, which sends it agin the next one's belly, and so on, till the other fellow's turn fur punching comes on. But yu ought tew see the game; it kant be delineated bi words. One feller generally beats the other feller, and then he pays the landlord ov the consarn 25 cents fur the privilege ov gitting beat, and buys sum gin, with lemonade in it, and aul hands drink. Then 2 more takes holt ov the fishpoles, and they punch fur a spell, and so it goes on till 2 o'clock in the morning; then each goes hum, having enjoyed fine exercise, a little drunk perhaps; but the muscles in their breast are so expanded that they can't ketch the consumption nor the smaul pox. _This iz billyards._ XVI. JOSH BILLINGS "RIZES." GENTLEMEN AND MISTER CHAIRMAN:-- I rise with grate diffidence fur the fust time in mi life, tew address an impromptew assemblage. What i can say iz instant, and i kant alter it; i kant sit doun, or stand up, and studdy a thing out, enny more than i kan sit doun and think how tew lift a ton. We have met here just fur fun; and i beleaf that aul things, including truth, hav a fun redikilous side tew them, and i fully beleaf, that while Satan, with consumate skill, fills hiz ranks bi the arts ov seduction, virtue should resort tew the same means. I beleaf in sugar-coated pills, and i beleaf that virtue and wisdom kan be smuggled into a man's soul bi a good natured proverb, better and deeper than to be morticed into it with a wormwood mallet and chisel. We hav met tew celebrate the birth-day ov a Sunday newspaper; the child iz a year old and iz growing nicely. Sum people doubt the propriety ov Sunday newspapers; they seem tew think that the Sabbath waz made only fur the acts ov sectarian worship, but i beleaf that religion was never designed az a bizness, but only tew regulate and correct bizzness with,--I should az soon think ov tunelling Hoosick Mounting bi prayer,--when a people devote aul their time tew religion, superstition and bigotry are sure tew prevale. [Illustration: Josh Billings makes a few miscellaneous remarks about "virtew and wisdom," before a literary association of the citizens of a neighboring town.--_See page 60._] Man iz the only thing created with power tew laff; birds and flowers can almost dew it, and dogs would like tew. Mules smile with their heels.