Fun waz made fur the million, ethicks fur the few, and the man who kan invent a generous and healthy sauce tew enliven a dish ov biled greens with, iz a Christian. Fun may never have furnished a splendid dinner, but it has helped swaller menny a poor one. "Six days shalt thou laber, and on the seventh rest,"--thare iz no laber in fun, and a Sunday newspaper does aul its work on Saturday. I had rather tend one wedding than a dozen funerals; and a birth, even if it aint ennything more than the hatching ov a duck's eg, iz alwus another suckcess. Life iz short, and that iz one grate reason whi it ought alwus tew be cheerful, and i fully beleaf, that when Gabrel blows hiz horn, the first ones that will rise, will ware a smile on their faces. Judas betrayed with a laff, and a kiss, but the fun ov the thing waz, he went oph and hung hisself. He that kant laff iz tew be pityed, and him that wont laff iz tew be feared. I am clean thru. This iz my maiden speech, and i will bet 10 dollars that i won't never run the risk ov doing it agin. Adew. XVII. BILLINGS ON PILLS. P'OKEEPSIE, Jan. 1st, 1867. DEAR DOKTER BONESETT: Thru the politeness ov Mr. John Smith, i cum in possession ov yure valuabel letter, at about 9 o'clock night before last, in which yu offer me 10 dollars for a poultiss. I hay had a fair chance to use yure pills upon several important occasions, and can sware posatively that they kan beat enny pills ov their size i ever contended with. Underneath this letter yu will find a poultiss which i think will draw. If yu see fit to use it, yu kan emit the 10 dollars by mail, at our risk. In the mean time, bet freely than i am yure humble servant, JOSH BILLINGS. * * * * * POULTISS. Barnabass Bonesett, M.D., (mutch dokter,) chuck full ov faith, bloze his horn, and bi these presents duz blo hiz horn about hiz "Lightning Express and Serio-Sensation pills" a cumfert and a joy to man. Theze pills are of rutes--rutey, and kost the Author 4 years in the wilderness, besides sleepless nights, and anxious days, tew git them down to a spot, without blemish and filled with fun. These pills will kure deffness, dipthery and dandruff--are good for baldness, bronkreeters and baksliding--are sertin tew heal hedake, hifalutin, and hangnails--will remove warts, windgauls and wens--destroy awl longings, lassitudes, laziness--will soothe the sorrowful, cam the crazy, and kure a common sized fit in 2 minnits. They are closs packed in little round boxes, and each little box kontains 2 dozen and 2, or no sail. Each box iz dun up in a trakt, which sez that they are az sure to cure, az lightning iz tew strike what it starts for. On the top ov the box iz a full sized painting ov the Author, with a grub hoe in one hand, and a whole parsell ov roots in the other--with a napsack on hiz back, and mountains in the distance, tew which he iz pinting with the grub hoe--them iz the mountains whare he gits the rutes.