The time tew pray is not when we are in a tight spot, but jist as soon as we git out ov it. "The Lord tempers the wind to the shorn lamb," but it is man's bissiness tew see that he don't shear the lamb tew cluss. XXV. ONE WEEK FROM MY DIAREE. MONDAY.--Had suckers for breakfast. Suckers and sussagis are the 2 luxuries ov life; the other luxury iz eazy boots. Answered several letters ov grate moment. TUESDAY.--Awoke with a splendid headache, cauzed by drinking tew much spring water the evening previously, and going tew bed at 9 o'clock precisely. Breakfasted on the butt end ov a sassige; felt like a dogg. Sett down in my little chamber for reflekshun, and reflekted as follers: Rekolekted ov hearing a man, on the levee, in Saint Lewis, once say "that the steambote Perary Flower drew less water than any bote an the Missouri." I asked him, "how little she could draw?" After changing sides with hiz chaw ov tobacco, he calmly said, "About 2 barrels." I reflekted what a phool this man made ov himself, and ov me too. WEDNESDAY.--Rekolekted ov asking a man in Minnysota, if beans waz a sure krop in hiz parts. He sed "they waz az certain az a revolver." Reflekted upon the danger ov carrying concealed weapons. Rekolekted again ov being in Nu Hampshire, during a severe sno storm, and innocently enuff remarked, "that i never see ennything like it," and waz told by one ov the bar-room boarders, "that it want nothing, that he had seen it fall over a thousand feet." "What," sed i, "a thousand feet on the level?" "No," said he, "but a thousand feet from on high." I reflekted how eazy it waz for sum folks tew lie, and tell the truth at the same time. THURSDAY.--Rekolekted once more ov being on the Red River, in Arkansaw, and seeing a large piece ov frame-work, by the side ov the road; enquired ov a private citizen, who was leading a blind mule by one ov hiz ears, "what the frame-work mought be?" He sed, "it was a blind fiddle, and it took three yoke ov oxen tew draw the bow, and they had tew haw and gee tew change the tune." Reflekted on that passidge in the poeck, which sez "man is fearfully and wonderfully made;" and thought the remark might apply tew fiddles in Arkansaw, without spileing the remark. FRIDAY.--Visited mi washwoman, and blowed her up, for sewing ruffles and tucks onto the bottom ov mi drawers. [Illustration: Josh Billings, upon remonstrating with his washerwoman for sewing tucks onto the bottom of his drawers, is told that the clothes have only been mixed.--_See page 93._] She was thunderstruck at fust, but explained the mystery by saying, "she had sent me a pair, by mistake, that belonged to * * * *;" I blushed like a biled lobster, and told her she couldn't be too keerful about such things; i might hav bin ruined for life.