SATURDAY.--Wrote this diaree for the week, from memory, and am satisfied i hav got a good memory. Reflekted upon the vanity ov human wishes, reflekted how often i had wished tew be ritch, and how seldum mi wishes had bin gratified. Resolved, in the futur, not tew wish for ennything until i had it 3 weeks, and see how i liked it. JOSH BILLINGS--Dispensed with a new born critick who had tried hard tew be severe on my Book ov Sayings, thusly:--Dear Sir, I have red yure kriticism on mi book, and muss say, it don't cum haf way up tew mi expectations. Yu seem tew hav in a big degree one essenshall for a bull critick, that is a grate willingness tew _damn_, but yu lack entirely another ingredient which is awl important: yu don't know how tew bild a _dam_. Upon the whole, i am forced tew admit, that you are a poor _damn_ crittick. Yure Lover, JOSH BILLINGS. XXVI. AMERIKAN ARISTOKRASY. VIEWED BY JOSH BILLINGS. Political ekonomists hav defined an aristokrasy as a power or government in which a privileged few hold dominyun. I am not aware that sich a government exists, in a pure form, at the present day among the nashuns ov the earth. But we kant be mistaken in the fackt that even in our own Republick thare are menny kandidates who would luv to participate in the peculiar privileges ov an aristokrasy. We hav divided Amerikan Aristokrasy (jist for fun) into 3 piles--the moneyed, the mackrel, and the pedigree aristokrats. Not having much time tew spare, we pitch into them a good deal as follers: The moneyed aristokrats are like certain fine coated animals, worth just what their hides will bring. The mackrels are remarkable for their numbers and the small kapital they dew bizziness on; and while arrayed in their false dignity, and straining hard tew cheat us in awl things, are like a drunken man trieing tew walk a krack. The pedigrees hav mutch innosense and little courage. Content with the glory ov their ancestors, they are satisfied in holding under our noses a grandfather's fossils, and fondly beleaf that the bones make them smell ov greatness. Finally, trieing tew be a fust klass aristokrat in America, just yet, appears tew us tew be almost as flattring an enterprise as climbing a greased pole. Thare is great doubt about our being able tew reach the top, and if we dew succeed (and don't pull the pole up after us) we will soon hav the mortifikashun ov seeing some other sheumaker climbing up the same pole. MORAL--Don't be an aristokrat if you kan help it. XXVII. LOVE. The only natural feeling the young heart possesses is love. It is the first good thing the heart dus, and in after life it is often the only good thing it dus. Thare is no posatif virtue in love, and yet it may be the result ov the holyest ov virtues. But thare is, in this life, a vast deal ov Pontoon love, that has no more virtue in it than wooden nutmegs hav. Thare is, "Love undying," that generally lives about as long as uncorked ginger pop dus.