"_Mary Ann._"--Your letter wuz duly received. I hasten teu reply. Waterfalls are a ketching disseaze, but not fatal. They fust appear on the back ov the hed, about the size ov a small geese's eggs, and gro az big az a wasp's nest, and then they are ripe. They are kep in a pudding bag, and fatted on black hoss hair. It is not considered enny misfortune teu have this dizzease, unlest yu hav it small. If yu hav escaped the dizzease thus far, I wouldn't contract it now; for thare will be a new one ov some kind around in a fu days, that yu may like better. In the mean time prepare yourself for the worst, for the Lord only knows what will come next. "_Harrold._"--It will be impossible for me to give you a never-failing recipee, how tew secure the affekshunes ov the opposite sex.--Grate perseverance iz necessary, az yu are aware that young ladiz are highly opposed to the married state. They are like their mothers in this respeck. I would advise yu tew read the "Pilgrim's Progress." It will sustane yu under yure trials. If yu kan spare enny time, i would advise yu tew be very polite tew the young ladiz mother; thare iz nothing more powerful; it is an evidence ov more good breeding, and it carrys the mother kind ov back to the days when she had to suffer in the same cruel way. After fighting the good fight for 6 or 7 years, you diskiver that yure sweetheart is tew be married to another feller; you will ov course secure an invitashun to the affair as pall bearer. This will pay you fur the menny trieing seens you hav passed thru, and will also fit yu fur the next deadly struggle. But if yu succeed in getting the objeckt ov your affecshun; yu wil ov course be the only happy man in the world; this iz the way it alwus effeckts folks. "_Unkle David._"--Got yure letter thru the intercession ov the post office. Glad tew hear from you. Sorry tew hear that Aunt Sally has got the biles: tell her to poultice them well--and trust in the Lord. Sorry tew hear that Cousin Heber haz failed in bizziness; tell him tew play smart--and trust in the Lord. Glad tew hear that Joe Osborne haz drawn a prize in the lottery; tell him tew try it again--and trust in the Lord. Sorry tew hear that Uncle Peter sold hiz corn for only 2 dollars a bushel; tell him tew hang onto it next time--and trust in the Lord.