The hog kan be larnt a grate menny cunning things, such az highsting the front gate off from the hinges, tipping over the swill barrells, and finding a hole in the fence to git into a cornfield, but thare ain't enny length tew their memory; it iz awful hard work for them tew find the same hole to git out at, espeshly if yu are at all anxious they should. Hogs are very kontrary, and seldom drive well the same way yu are going; they drive the most the other way; this haz never bin fully explained, but speaks volumes for the hog. XLV. ON SOWING MACHINES. DEAR MORSE--I this morning had makrel for brekfast, and also yure letter, enklosing a prospektus uv yure "Improved swivel stitch and back action sowing masheen," and must say i am tickled tew deth with her. It strikes me that it must be equal tew a small drove uv nu milk cows in a family. If the masheen iz only one quarter az good az the prospektus iz, yure fortune iz az certain and lasting az the rocks. Don't hesitate tew send me one ov the masheens, and i will return the prospektus. I hav now 3 sowing masheens on hand; one i hav had 24 years, the other two about 20 & 18 years respektivly. The old masheen iz a gem, and will sow on a patch quicker than the hole was made. The other two are smaller, and are halleluger itself on worsted work and ornamental blister. I would part with the 2 younger ones if enny fust rate chance offered, and furnish a prospektus that would beat the Song ov Solaman. Az for the old one, munny won't buy her. I intend to stick tew her till evry thread breaks, for she iz wuth a dozen nu-fangled ones. I got her in Massachusetts, by the side ov the road, at the foot ov a mountain, from a good old Baptiss deakon, who lived in a nice white farm-hous, with green blinds and a hoss-block by the door, and a pen-stock ov never failing water, and a wood pile as bigg az a straw stack. The 2 little ones are on exhibishun now, at mi rooms. Kards ov admishun can be prokured ov the proprietor bi presenting the proper vouchers. Full warrantees will be given with each masheen. Principals only delt with; no agent need apply. Again, dear Morse, I kant help but thank yu for yure prospektus--it iz so limber and full ov good advise; but i kant help but say that if you should see mi sowing masheens and see them at wurk, yu would tare up yure prospektus in disgust, and either git one ov mi kind, or be miserable till you did. Morse, fairwell. In the meantime, yures truli, JOSH BILLINGS. XLVI. SUM ADVISE. Mi yung friend, yu are about tew begin life, and altho it may seem dredful impossibel tew yu, nevertheless yu will be liabel tew make sum mistakes while yu are scoring, or during the fust mile or two. Let me mix up a little advise for yu tew take till yu git tew trotting stiddy. Yu will observe the advise iz designed for yung gentlemen who show sum sighns ov speed, and also that i reazon right from the shoulder.