Pitty is the poorest beggar ov the whole lot. "Pitty the sorrows ov a poor old man," iz a fust rate way tew hav the dogs set at you,--better, a good deal, be a little sassy. * * * * * Generosity, az a general thing, haz more pride than kommon sense in it. Even truth haz a ridickilous side tew it, which it iz always trieing to hide. * * * * * Sum people lose twice when they bet; they bet without enny pluck, and lose without enny pluck. Yu kant kure laziness by bribery, nor shame; the only way to kure it, is tew skare it. Laziness is one ov those kind ov things that has no memory at all, and but an indifferent reccollection. * * * * * "Early impreshuns are the most lasting"--the fust kiss, and the fust licking, cum under this hed. * * * * * Reputashun is a good deal like a bond-fire, yu hav got tew keep pileing on the shavings. If you don't the flame will soon subdew. * * * * * I was once asked if mi fourfathers was Englishmen. I told the illiterate cuss, who propagated the question, that i didn't hav but one father, and he was strictly ov the Massachewsetts purswashun. * * * * * Good wit iz sumthing like good luck,--the more soon and unexpekted it iz, the better. XLIV. ESSA ON SWINE. Hogs generally are quadriped. The extreme length ov their antiquity haz never been fully discovered; they existed a long time before the flood, and hav existed a long time since. There iz a grate deal ov internal revenew in a hog, thare ain't mutch more waste in them than thare iz in a oyster. Even their tails can be wurked up into whissells. Hogs are good quiet boarders; they alwus eat what iz set before them, and don't ask enny foolish questions. They never hav enny disseaze but the meazles, and they never hav that but once; once seems to satisfy them. Thare iz a grate menny breeds amongst them. Sum are a close corporation breed, and sum are bilt more apart, like a hemlock slab. They used to hav a breed in New England, a few years ago, which they called the _striped hog_ breed. This breed waz in high repute among the landlords; almost evry tavern keeper had one, which he used tew show tew travelers, and brag on him. Sum are full in the face, like a town clock, and some are az long and lean az a cow-catcher, with a steel pinted noze on them. They kan awl rute well; a hog that kant rute well, haz bin made in vain. They are a short lived animal, and generally die az soon az they git fatt.