In argument alwuz ernest, and in reazoning alwuz specius, this progressive phenomena tramps the world with the skeleton ov a pattent right in hiz carpet bag, and, in his ever open hand and face a pleasant "Heow air yer?" If you would save your pride from bein sandpapered, risk it not in a dicker with Jonathan. Hiz razor is the true Damascus, strapped on the wand ov Midas for a golden harvest; hiz sanctity iz often shrewdness, and hiz sweet savor iz often the reflekted halo ov the comin shillin. Constitushunaly and by edukashun honest, he iz alwuz reddy tew cry for the deeds dun in the boddy; hiz hospitalitys and charities are cerimonial dutys, and if hiz religion iz sometimes only the severitys ov a sabbath, it iz bekauze hiz bias iz the thursting impulse ov a creatin genius chained tew the more sordid pashun for lucre. IV. LINCH-PINS. I want to bet 3 Dollars, that no man ever matched himself agin the Devil, but what he got beat. And I want to bet one dollar and seventy-five cents more, that thare is no villin on airth so grately mean az he who reccommends a vice that he has too mutch prudence to indulge in himself. I hav held, that if a man iz virtuous, he kan't be ignorant; and i still hold it. Aim hi, if you strike low. The man who undertakes tew jump 375 feet ahed, will sertinly make a good try. I never knu a man who was alwus anxious tew repent uv his sins before he had committed them, who didn't want the sharpest kind ov watching. "Don't put oph till to-morrow what kan be did to-day." It is better even to do a foolish thing at onst, if you have positiffly made up yure mind to do it. I never bet enny stamps on the man who iz always telling what he would have did if he had bin _thare_; I hav notised that this kind never git _thare_. Faith don't appear to me tew be ennything more than tip top good sense; all the faith thare is in this world now wont keep a man from falling to the bottom of a well if he lets go ov the curb to spit on hiz hands. When i git to not having enny good luck, it duz seem to me that i kan hav more ov it than enny man i ever knu, and not half try; i suppose it seems jist so to you, my friend, don't it? I kant think ov enny talent now, that iz so apt to descend from father to son, untarnished, as the gift ov exaggeration. "Thare aint ennything nu under the sun." The old feller in Connekticut, who carried the same old jack-knife for 43 years, and wore out 9 new handles, and 12 setts ov blades, sez so. Thare aint, after all, but one right way to dew things. I hav seen kows that you could milk on both sides, but they wan't more than haff broke. A man may hav a perfek right to be born single, but I dought whether he haz a right tew continny on so. I take it, that the excellence of human natur consists in lifting the greatest amount ov sorrow with the least amount ov grin. Them who make the most blow, hav the least fragranse--it iz jess so with the hollerhauk.