I told him he might, and then I rose up and put my bottle of ink on to the mantletry piece, and sot the table for supper. And this—generous and likely reader though I think a sight on you, and would have been glad of the chance to have told you so in a lawful way—is jest the reason why I have denied myself that privilege and don’t have no preface to this book. Further explanations are unnecessary. To the discernin’ mind my reasons are patented, for such well know that a husband’s wishes to a fond wife, are almost like takin’ the law to her. And knowin’ this, I hope and trust you will kindly overlook its loss. You will not call me shiftless, nor yet slack. You will heed not the dark report that may be started up that I was short on it for prefaces, or entirely run out of ’em, and couldn’t get holt of one. You will believe not that tale, knowin’ it false and also untrue. You will regard its absence kindly and even tenderly, thinkin’ that what is my loss is your gain; thinkin’ that it is a delicate and self-sacrificin’ token of a wife’s almost wrapped devotion to a Josiah. WHAT I HAVE WRIT ABOUT. PAGE. WHY I DON’T HAVE NO PREFACE TO THIS BOOK, v THE JONESVILLE DEBATIN’-SCHOOL, 19 THE WIDDER DOODLE, 54 A DEBATE ON INTEMPERANCE, 73 TIRZAH ANN AS A WIFE, 103 P. A. AND P. I., 121 HOW I WENT TO ’LECTION, 144 SENATOR VYSE AND HIS VICTIM, 161 HOW WE BOUGHT A SEWIN’ MACHINE AND ORGAN, 193 PREPARIN’ FOR OUR TOWER, 211 THE WIDDER AND WIDOWER, 222 HOW SEREPTA CARRIED THE MEETIN’ HOUSE, 231 I AND JOSIAH VISIT PHILANDER SPICER’SES FOLKS, 270 MELANKTON SPICER AND HIS FAMILY, 294 UNCLE DEACON ZEBULON COFFIN, 316 HOW I MARRIED THE DEACON’S DAUGHTER, 353 THE GRAND EXHIBITION, 370 GOOD LAND! GOOD LAND! AND GOOD LAND!, 383 PATRONIZIN’ THE RAILROAD, 386 I ADVISE THE NATION THOUGH ITS GREAT MEN, 400 INTERVIEW WITH GEN. HAWLEY, 406 DOIN’ THE MAIN BUILDIN’, 411 JOSIAH’S RIDE IN A CHAIR, 422 A TRIP THROUGH THE WORLD, 425 IN THE CHINESE DEPARTMENT, 440 I MEET OLD ACQUAINTANCES, 453 WIDDER DOODLE AS A BRIDE, 460 THE ARTEMUS GALLERY, 473