Sundry rough calculations as to my chances of clearing off certain
debts, and my probable amount of income; a perfect conviction that Kate
Vernon was the loveliest girl, and her grandfather the most perfect
old gentleman I had ever met; a vivid recollection of my past visit,
and an indistinct intention of doing or saying something remarkably
distinguished on my next; a vague haunting wish for some truer and
more real interest than my life had ever hitherto known; such were a
few of the elements in my reverie, and round them all floated a dim
consciousness of Mrs. Winter's cap, and Miss Araminta Cox's yellow
turban. I felt the strength of old habits returning in the levity which
mingled even with my better aspirations; and fell asleep, feeling I
had got a glimpse of happiness such as Nature had endowed me with
capabilities of enjoying, but between which and myself circumstances
had fixed a great gulf.
Of course I told Burton all my proceedings, and to do him justice he
really seemed to take an interest in them, but he laughed a little at
the Arcadian style of early tea and hot cakes. Burton, though still a
"sub," was my senior in age by at least a couple of years; he had not
been in the Regiment long, and knew nothing of the Vernons; indeed,
the only officers still among us who had experienced the hospitality
of Dungar, were Dashwood, now our Colonel, Hauton, and myself. I felt
I ought to mention having met our old and popular acquaintance, yet
I did not quite like doing so. Our Colonel was a fine, high-minded,
gentleman-like fellow, who never forgot a kindness or remembered a
spite. I would rather have wished him to know Vernon was within reach;
but Hauton, I always disliked him, he was a cold-hearted _roué_, and I
would almost rather have been accessory to the introduction of Satan
to our first mother, than let Hauton get the _entrée_ of Kate Vernon's
refined and tranquil home. At the thought, a vision of it and the
inscription over its entrance rose up before me. However, as it would
have a strange effect if Colonel Dashwood was by any chance to meet
Vernon and find I had concealed my rencontre with him, I determined to
mention it, but in a casual way, hinting at the same time his change
of fortune, which I knew would prevent Hauton from taking any vivid
interest in his former hospitable entertainer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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