At length hauing power to speake, "Name my accuser," saith he, "or I defye thee, Kemp, at the quart staffe." I told him; and all his anger turned to laughter, swearing it did him good to haue ill words of a hoddy doddy{21:29}, a habber de hoy{21:30}, a chicken, a squib, a squall{21:30}, one that hath not wit enough to make a ballet, that, by Pol and Aedipol, would Pol his father, Derick{21:32} his dad, doe anie thing, how ill so euer, to please his apish humor. I hardly beleeued this youth that I tooke to be gracious had bin so graceles; but I heard afterwards his mother in law was eye and eare witnes of his fathers abuse by this blessed childe on a publique stage, in a merry Hoast of an Innes part. Yet all this while could not I finde out the true ballet-maker, till by chaunce a friend of mine puld out of his pocket a booke in Latine, called Mundus Furiosus{22:6}, printed at Cullen, written by one of the vildest and arrantest lying Cullians{22:7} that euer writ booke, his name Jansonius, who, taking vpon him to write an abstract of all the turbulent actions that had beene lately attempted or performed in Christendome, like an vnchristian wretch, writes onely by report, partially, and scoffingly of such whose pages shooes hee was vnworthy to wipe, for indeed he is now dead: farewell he! euery dog must haue a day. But see the luck on't: this beggerly lying busie-bodies name brought out the Ballad-maker{22:13}, and, it was generally confirmd, it was his kinsman: he confesses himselfe guilty, let any man looke on his face; if there be not so redde a colour that all the sope in the towne will not washe white, let me be turned to a Whiting as I passe betweene Douer and Callis. Well, God forgiue thee, honest fellow, I see thou hast grace in thee; I prethee do so no more, leaue writing these beastly ballets, make not good wenches Prophetesses, for litle or no profit, nor for a sixe-penny matter reuiue not a poore fellowes fault thats hanged for his offence; it may be thy owne destiny one day; prethee be good to them. Call vp thy olde Melpomene, whose straubery quill may write the bloody lines of the blew Lady, and the Prince of the burning crowne; a better subiect, I can tell ye, than your Knight of the Red Crosse. So, farewel, and crosse me no more, I prethee, with thy rabble of bald rimes, least at my returne I set a crosse on thy forehead that all men may know thee for a foole. WILLIAM KEMP. FOOTNOTES: [3:1] Sion neere Brainford, and Mount Surrey by Norwich _(Marg. note in old ed.)_. [4:1] A great spoone in Ilford, holding aboue a quart _(Marg. note in old ed.)_. NOTES.