Feminist fiction, Australian; Sex role -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian; Women -- Fiction
"Of course not. I share," bitterly, "that crowning disability of my
sex; but not willingly,--I chafe under it. My God! if it were not for
that, we women would master the world! I tell you, men would be no
match for us! At heart we care nothing for laws, nothing for systems;
all your elaborately reasoned codes for controlling morals or man do
not weigh a jot with us against an impulse, an instinct. We learn those
things from you,--you tamed, amenable animals; they are not natural
to us. It is a wise disposition of Providence that this untamableness
of ours is corrected by our affections. We forge our own chains in a
moment of softness, and then," bitterly, "we may as well wear them with
a good grace. Perhaps many of our seeming contradictions are only the
outward evidences of inward chafing. Bah! the qualities that go to make
a Napoleon--superstition, want of honor, disregard of opinion, and the
eternal I--are oftener to be found in a woman than a man. Lucky for
the world, perhaps, that all these attributes weigh as nothing in the
balance with the need to love, if she be a good woman; to be loved, if
she is of a coarser fibre."
"I never met any one like you; you are a strange woman!"
"No, I am merely a truthful one. Women talk to me--why? I can't say;
but always they come, strip their hearts and souls naked, and let me
see the hidden folds of their natures. The greatest tragedies I have
ever read are child's play to those I have seen acted in the inner life
of outwardly commonplace women. A woman must beware of speaking the
truth to a man; he loves her the less for it. It is the elusive spirit
in her, that he divines but cannot seize, that fascinates and keeps
him."
There is a long silence; the sun is waning and the scythes are silent,
and overhead the crows are circling,--a croaking, irregular army,
homeward bound from a long day's pillage.
She has made no sign, yet so subtilely is the air charged with her
that he feels but a few moments remain to him. He goes over and
kneels beside her, and fixes his eyes on her odd, dark face. They
both tremble, yet neither speaks. His breath is coming quickly, and
the bistre stains about her eyes seem to have deepened, perhaps by
contrast, as she has paled.
"Look at me!"
She turns her head right round and gazes straight into his face; a few
drops of sweat glisten on his forehead.
"You witch woman! what am I to do with myself? Is my moment ended?"
"I think so."
"Lord, what a mouth!"
"Don't! oh, don't!"
"No, I won't. But do you mean it? Am I, who understand your every mood,
your restless spirit, to vanish out of your life? You can't mean it!
Listen!--are you listening to me? I can't see your face; take down your
hands. Go back over every chance meeting you and I have had together
since I met you first by the river, and judge them fairly. To-day is
Monday: Wednesday afternoon I shall pass your gate, and if--if my
moment is ended, and you mean to send me away, to let me go with this
weary aching--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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