Feminist fiction, Australian; Sex role -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian; Women -- Fiction
"Perhaps less than other men I have known; but you want less. You are a
little like me,--you can stand alone; and yet," her voice is shaking,
"have I given you nothing?"
He laughs, and she winces; and they sit silent, and they both feel as
if the earth between them is laid with infinitesimal electric threads
vibrating with a common pain. Her eyes are filled with tears that burn
but don't fall; and she can see his some way through her closed lids,
see their cool grayness troubled by sudden fire, and she rolls her
handkerchief into a moist cambric ball between her cold palms.
"You have given me something, something to carry away with me,--an
infernal want. You ought to be satisfied: I am infernally miserable.
You," nearer, "have the most tantalizing mouth in the world when your
lips tremble like that. I--What! can you cry? You?"
"Yes, even I can cry!"
"You dear woman!" pause; "and I can't help you?"
"You can't help me; no man can. Don't think it is because you are you I
cry, but because you probe a little nearer into the real me that I feel
so."
"Was it necessary to say that?" reproachfully; "do you think I don't
know it? I can't for the life of me think how you, with that free gypsy
nature of yours, could bind yourself to a monotonous country life, with
no excitement, no change. I wish I could offer you my yacht; do you
like the sea?"
"I love it; it answers one's moods."
"Well, let us play pretending, as the children say. Grant that I could,
I would hang your cabin with your own colors, fill it with books (all
those I have heard you say you care for), make it a nest as rare as
the bird it would shelter. You would reign supreme. When your highness
would deign to honor her servant, I would come and humor your every
whim. If you were glad, you could clap your hands and order music,
and we would dance on the white deck, and we would skim through the
sunshine of Southern seas on a spice-scented breeze. You make me
poetical. And if you were angry, you could vent your feelings on me,
and I would give in and bow my head to your mood. And we would drop
anchor, and stroll through strange cities,--go far inland and glean
folklore out of the beaten track of everyday tourists; and at night,
when the harbor slept, we would sail out through the moonlight over
silver seas. You are smiling,--you look so different when you smile; do
you like my picture?"
"Some of it!"
"What not?"
"You!"
"Thank you."
"You asked me. Can't you understand where the spell lies? It is the
freedom, the freshness, the vague danger, the unknown that has a
witchery for me,--ay, for every woman!"
"Are you incapable of affection, then?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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