Feminist fiction, Australian; Sex role -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian; Women -- Fiction
"What, dear,--a white hair? Oh, I saw several lately. How did it end?
Oh, he said that he was going away to glean material for a new book;
that he would burn my letters,--it was safer and wiser to burn letters.
No, I did not ask him; he volunteered it. He asked me, did I not think
so? I said yes. But is it not marvellous how dazzlingly swift our
thoughts can travel, like light? While I was saying, 'Yes, one often
regretted not having burned letters; receipts, receipts for bills,
were really the only things of importance to keep,' I was thinking and
crying inwardly over my letters. Such letters!--one only writes once
like that, I think. All the perfume of the flowers I ever smelt, all
the sun-glints on hill and sea, all the strains of music and light and
love I had garnered from the glad, fresh, young years when I tossed
cowslip balls in the meadows, were crystallized into love-words in
those letters of mine. It seemed to me often that the words burnt with
a white flame as I wrote them, and I was shy when I saw them written;
and he said, 'I shall burn them!' much as you might say, 'I shall take
the trimming off that last summer hat of mine.' I did not like to
think of his burning them, perhaps with his old washing-bills. Do you
know, if I had a finger or toe cut off, I wouldn't like them to take it
away; I'd like to bury it. A sort of feel, I suppose.
"Well, we said good-by! I felt as if I had a sponge with a lot of holes
in it, instead of a heart, and that all the feeling had oozed away
through them. He was glad to go, I think; he felt himself a brute I
dare say, yet how could he help it?
* * * * *
"Were you ever at the Scandinavian church in the Docks? I went one
Sunday after I came back. I like those blue-eyed, sea-faring folk; and
the priest wears a black gown and stiff ruff, like Luther of mixed
renown. An apple-tree outside the open door was struggling to open its
delicate pink blossoms; each petal had a tinge of soot,--it reminded
me of the pretty cheeks of a grimy maid-of-all-work. I sat still; a
sunbeam came in and pierced Judas's heart, as he sat at his section of
the Last Supper table, and it wrapped me up in a sun haze, so that all
was misty around me. The sermon only struck my ear with a soothing,
drowsy roll, something like the wave-note of the incurling sea in
the Mediterranean,--a legato accompaniment to my thoughts; and I had
a grand burial all by myself. I dug a deep grave, and laid all my
dreams and foolish wishes and sweet hopes in it. A puff of wind rustled
through the rigging of the ships, and set the flags with their yellow
cross fluttering, and scattered a few of the tender blooms over it,
and--ah, well! it seems hard to realize now. Spring has gone!
"Do you really think that crinolines will be worn?"
THE SPELL OF THE WHITE ELF.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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