English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Before seeing John again, Sally had lengthy speech with her new
sweetheart, and he, a little dead to the danger of so doing, detailed at
length his conversation with the cowman and explained the complete nature
of his rival’s renunciation. This narrative set Timothy in a somewhat
sorry light, and the fact that he unconsciously bore himself as a victor
added to the unpleasant impression conveyed. Had Tim declared his own
sorrow and shame, blamed himself and acknowledged John’s greatness with
wholehearted or even simulated praise, the girl had accepted the position
more readily; but as it was, young Chave, whose fear of rousing her pity
for John rendered him less eloquent upon that theme than he felt disposed
to be, by this very reticence and oblivion touching the other’s profound
sorrow, awoke that pity he desired to stifle. Indeed, his story moved
Sarah unutterably. While her love for Tim was the light of her life, yet
at this juncture her nature forced her to turn to the first man, and now
she held herself guilty of wickedness in her treatment of him. An
instinct toward abstract justice, rare in women, uplifted her in this
strait; the stricken man clung to her mind and would not be banished.
Even before Timothy’s subsequent abasement and self-accusations, she
could not forget the past or live even for an hour in the joy of the
present. The very note of triumph in her loved one’s voice jarred upon
her. It was, therefore, with feelings painfully mingled and heart
distracted by many doubts that Sarah met John Aggett at last.
He was harsh enough—harsh to brutality—and for some subtle reason this
attitude moved her to the step he least expected. Softness and kind
speech might have sent Sarah weeping to Timothy after all; but the
ferocity, despair and distraction of the big flaxen man confirmed her in
a contrary course of action. She put her hands into his, cried out that,
before God, she was his woman for all time, and that his woman she would
remain until the end. John Aggett strangled his reason upon this loving
declaration—as many a stronger spirit would have done. He told himself
that his gigantic love might well serve for them both; he caressed the
wanderer in love and called upon Heaven to hear his thanksgivings. New
rosy-fledged hope sprang and soared in his heart at this unhoped
blessing, and for a few blissful days light returned to his face,
elasticity to his step. He had steeled his soul to part with her; he had
told himself the worst of the agony was over, but in reality the girl had
come back into his life again before the real grief of his loss had
bitten itself into his mind. Now, despite the inner whisper that told
him his joy rested on the most futile foundations possible, he took her
back as he had resigned her—in a whirlwind of emotion. And he assured
himself that, having once yielded her up, neither men nor God could
reasonably ask him to do so again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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