L. Annaeus Seneca on BenefitsSeneca, Lucius Annaeus
Philosophy
L. Annaeus Seneca on Benefits
Seneca, Lucius Annaeus
Benevolence; Classical literature; Conduct of life; Essays
II. It is unpleasant, burdensome, and covers one with shame to have to
say, "Give me." You should spare your friends, and those whom you wish
to make your friends, from having to do this; however quick he may be,
a man gives too late who gives what he has been asked for. We ought,
therefore, to divine every man's wishes, and when we have discovered
them, to set him free from the hard necessity of asking; you may be sure
that a benefit which comes unasked will be delightful and will not be
forgotten. If we do not succeed in anticipating our friends, let us at
any rate cut them short when they ask us for anything, so that we may
appear to be reminded of what we meant to do, rather than to have been
asked to do it. Let us assent at once, and by our promptness make it
appear that we meant to do so even before we were solicited. As in
dealing with sick persons much depends upon when food is given, and
plain water given at the right moment sometimes acts as a remedy, so
a benefit, however slight and commonplace it may be, if it be promptly
given without losing a moment of time, gains enormously in importance,
and wins our gratitude more than a far more valuable present given after
long waiting and deliberation. One who gives so readily must needs give
with good will; he therefore gives cheerfully and shows his disposition
in his countenance.
III. Many who bestow immense benefits spoil them by their silence or
slowness of speech, which gives them an air of moroseness, as they say
"yes" with a face which seems to say "no." How much better is it to join
kind words to kind actions, and to enhance the value of our gifts by a
civil and gracious commendation of them! To cure your friend of being
slow to ask a favour of you, you may join to your gift the familiar
rebuke, "I am angry with you for not having long ago let me know what
you wanted, for having asked for it so formally, or for having made
interest with a third party." "I congratulate myself that you have been
pleased to make trial of me; hereafter, if you want anything, ask for it
as your right; however, for this time I pardon your want of manners."
By so doing you will cause him to value your friendship more highly
than that, whatever it may have been, which he came to ask of you. The
goodness and kindness of a benefactor never appears so great as when on
leaving him one says, "I have to-day gained much; I am more pleased at
finding him so kind than if I had obtained many times more of this, of
which I was speaking, by some other means; I never can make any adequate
return to this man for his goodness."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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