Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
On the porch top in the darkness, Mr. Boyce-Upchurch gasped anew but
happily. The last of the lather coursed in rivulets down his legs; his
grateful pores opened widely and he outstretched his arms, the better
to let the soothing cloudburst from on high strike upon his expanded
chest.
On the sudsy underfooting his bare soles slipped--first one sole
began to slip, then the other began to slip. He gasped once more, but
with a different inflection. His spread hands grasped frantically and
closed on the void. Involuntarily he sat down, painfully and with
great violence. He began to slide: he began to slide faster: he kept
on sliding. His curved fingers, still clutching, skittered over stark
metal surfaces as he picked up speed. He slid thence, offbound and
slantwise, toward the edge. He gave one low muffled cry. He slid faster
yet. He slid across the spouting gutter, over the verge, on, out, down,
into swallowing space.
* * * * *
Out in the service ell the last of the wastage from the Gridleys'
dinner party was being disposed of and the place tidied up against the
next gustatory event in this house, which would be breakfast. Along
the connecting passage from his butler's pantry where he racked up
tableware, Ditto was speaking rearward to the two occupants of the
kitchen. He had been speaking practically without cessation for twenty
minutes. With the _h's_ it would have taken longer--probably twenty-two
to twenty-four minutes.
He was speaking of the habits, customs, and general excellencies of the
British upper classes among whom the greater part of his active life
congenially had been spent. He was approaching a specific illustration
in support and confirmation of his thesis. He reached it:
"Now, you tyke Mr. Boyce-Upchurch, now. Wot pride of bearin' 'e's got!
Wot control! Wot a flow of language when the spirit moves 'im! Always
the marster of any situation--that's 'im all oaver. Never losin' 'is
'ead. Never jostled out of 'is stride. Never lackin' for a word. Stock
of the old bull-dog--that's wot it is!"
Where he stood, so discouraging, he could not see Norah. Perhaps it was
just as well he could not see her. For a spell was lifting from Norah.
If there is such a word as 'unenglamored' then 'unenglamored' is the
proper word for describing what Norah rapidly was becoming.
From Delia the tattle-tale, Norah had but just now heard whispered
things. She was sitting at ease, resting after an arduous spell of
labors, but about her were signs and portents--small repressed signs
but withal significant. The lips tightly were compressed; one toe
tapped the floor with an ominous little tattoo; through the clenched
teeth she made a low steady wasp-like humming noise; in the eyes
smoldered and kindled a hostile bale. It was plain that before long
Norah would herself be moved to utterance. She did but bide her time.
However, as stated, Ditto could not see. He proceeded to carry on:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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