Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Listen to me: You're not going to stir another inch tonight. You stay
right here and tomorrow morning I'll decide myself whether you're fit
to go trapesing off across to the other side of town."
"Oh, ma'am, I couldn't do that!"
"Why couldn't you?"
"But, ma'am, are you taking in any visitors during the reunion?"
"I wasn't aiming to." Her voice was grim. "But I'm fixing now to do
that very little thing, whether or no."
"But honest, now--I--" He scuffled with his tired feet. "It's mighty
good and mighty sweet of you, ma'am, but I'd hate to impose on you like
that."
"No imposition. There're five spare bedrooms in this house--and nobody
in any of them. And nobody going to be in any of them, either, while
you're here--except you. I think you'll be comfortable."
"I know I'd be comfortable but--"
"Then it's all settled. By the way, I don't know your name yet?"
"My name is Braswell--Nathan Braswell, late high private of the
rear rank in the Eighteenth Tennessee Infantry. But up at Forks
of Hatchie--that's my home town, ma'am, a little town up in West
Tennessee--they call me the Reverend Braswell, sometimes."
"Reverend?" Her eyelids narrowed. "Are you a minister?"
"Oh, nome. But sometimes when we're short on a preacher I make out to
take the pulpit and read the Scriptures and make a little kind of a
talk--not a regular sermon--just a little kind of a religious talk. And
I'm purty active in church work generally. So I reckin that's why some
people call me the Reverend Braswell. But I never use the entitlement
myself--it wouldn't be becoming in a layman."
"I see. You preach but you're not a preacher. I guess you practice what
you preach, too. You look like a good man, to me--and a good man can be
set down anywhere and not suffer by it; at least that's my opinion. So,
Mr. Braswell, right here is where you camp."
"Just as you say, ma'am." His surrender was complete now, his weariness
was, too. "Probably you're right--if I tried to go any further tonight
it's likely I wouldn't be much good tomorrow and I want to be spry and
fresh so I can knock around and see if I can't run across some of my
old pardners in the army. But excuse me again--you got my name but you
ain't told me yours?"
"Call me Miss Sissie, if you want to. That's what nearly everybody does
call me. Or else just plain Sis."
"All right, Miss Sissie, just as you say." He bowed to her with a grave
simplicity. "And I'm sure I'm very much beholden to you, ma'am. It
ain't every day that an old fellow like me is lucky enough to run into
such a lovely nice lady as you."
He drank his coffee, and, being helped to his feet, he went upstairs
with some aid from the lovely nice lady and presently was sound asleep
in a clean bed in what he regarded as a very fine bedroom indeed. Its
grandeur impressed him even through his tiredness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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