Lady Patricia: A comedy in three actsBesier, Rudolf
General
Lady Patricia: A comedy in three acts
Besier, Rudolf
English drama (Comedy)
(_You hear LADY PATRICIA’S voice just beneath talking to
MICHAEL. BILL exclaims with a scared look_:)
She’s coming here!...
CLARE.
Well?... (_With dawning comprehension. She seizes his arm._) Bill—you
don’t mean to say that she——
(_MICHAEL is heard replying to LADY PATRICIA. CLARE
whispers with startled eyes_:)
That’s he!
BILL.
(_Staring at her._) That’s Michael.... Good God! Clare, it’s not—it’s not
Michael that you——
CLARE.
Hush!... They’re going past....
BILL.
(_In a fierce undertone._) The blackguard!
CLARE.
What do you mean?
BILL.
If I hadn’t been a blind fool, I would have seen through this precious
friendship for you long ago. It never dawned on me that the fellow was
such a scoundrel. And a precious hypocrite, too, by Jove! Playing up
so as to make that poor, trusting woman believe him madly in love with
her....
CLARE.
That poor, trusting woman? Are you, by any chance, speaking of Patricia?
BILL.
Of course I am. Hanging about her neck while all the time he’s making
love to an innocent girl! It’s perfectly disgusting!
CLARE.
And what has your noble, high-souled Patricia been doing, I should like
to know? Shamming infatuation for poor Michael to hide her shameful
flirtation with a callow boy.
BILL.
It was not a shameful flirtation—and I’m no more a callow boy than you
are.
CLARE.
What amazes me is that you should ever have allowed yourself to be fooled
by a shallow, deceitful _poseuse_ like Patricia.
BILL.
She hasn’t fooled me. She’s deeply and truly in love with me.
CLARE.
Contradiction isn’t argument: it’s merely rude.
BILL.
If it had been any one else but Michael there might have been some excuse
for you. But Michael! How could you? A dull, priggish ass——
CLARE.
He’s not a dull, priggish ass!
BILL.
Contradiction isn’t argument: it’s merely rude.
CLARE.
How dare you speak to me like that!
BILL.
(_Sulkily._) I beg your pardon.
(_He moves away from her, and they both stand staring in
opposite directions._)
CLARE.
(_After a pause._) I don’t think there’s anything more to be said.
BILL.
Neither do I.
(_A pause._)
CLARE.
Nothing.
BILL.
Nothing.
(_A pause._)
CLARE.
Things must remain as they are.
BILL.
Yes, I suppose they must.
(_A pause._)
CLARE.
Of course, any one who was at all unprejudiced would see at once the—the
higher morality of my decision.
BILL.
The what?
CLARE.
The higher morality. Michael has often told me that our pure love and the
fact that he does his duty as best he can to his wife are the only things
that keep him from suicide....
BILL.
(_Under his breath._) Bosh!
CLARE.
I beg your pardon?
BILL.
Nothing.... It’s awfully funny to think of Michael spooning away with you
and Patricia and boring you both to death without knowing it.
CLARE.
I don’t see that it’s any funnier than Patricia doing the same with you
and Michael.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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