England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
_Lady Susan to Mrs. Johnson._
Churchhill.
I call on you, dear Alicia, for congratulations: I am my own self, gay
and triumphant! When I wrote to you the other day I was, in truth, in
high irritation, and with ample cause. Nay, I know not whether I ought
to be quite tranquil now, for I have had more trouble in restoring
peace than I ever intended to submit to—a spirit, too, resulting from a
fancied sense of superior integrity, which is peculiarly insolent! I
shall not easily forgive him, I assure you. He was actually on the
point of leaving Churchhill! I had scarcely concluded my last, when
Wilson brought me word of it. I found, therefore, that something must
be done; for I did not choose to leave my character at the mercy of a
man whose passions are so violent and so revengeful. It would have been
trifling with my reputation to allow of his departing with such an
impression in my disfavour; in this light, condescension was necessary.
I sent Wilson to say that I desired to speak with him before he went;
he came immediately. The angry emotions which had marked every feature
when we last parted were partially subdued. He seemed astonished at the
summons, and looked as if half wishing and half fearing to be softened
by what I might say. If my countenance expressed what I aimed at, it
was composed and dignified; and yet, with a degree of pensiveness which
might convince him that I was not quite happy. “I beg your pardon, sir,
for the liberty I have taken in sending for you,” said I; “but as I
have just learnt your intention of leaving this place to-day, I feel it
my duty to entreat that you will not on my account shorten your visit
here even an hour. I am perfectly aware that after what has passed
between us it would ill suit the feelings of either to remain longer in
the same house: so very great, so total a change from the intimacy of
friendship must render any future intercourse the severest punishment;
and your resolution of quitting Churchhill is undoubtedly in unison
with our situation, and with those lively feelings which I know you to
possess. But, at the same time, it is not for me to suffer such a
sacrifice as it must be to leave relations to whom you are so much
attached, and are so dear. My remaining here cannot give that pleasure
to Mr. and Mrs. Vernon which your society must; and my visit has
already perhaps been too long. My removal, therefore, which must, at
any rate, take place soon, may, with perfect convenience, be hastened;
and I make it my particular request that I may not in any way be
instrumental in separating a family so affectionately attached to each
other. Where I go is of no consequence to anyone; of very little to
myself; but you are of importance to all your connections.” Here I
concluded, and I hope you will be satisfied with my speech. Its effect
on Reginald justifies some portion of vanity, for it was no less
favourable than instantaneous. Oh, how delightful it was to watch the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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