Artists -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
And what was her feeling for him who thus rose up out of the darkness,
and was to give her all for which her soul had been pining? Love? Not
one particle. She had no love left. She had not been by any means
bounteously provided with that article at the outset, and all that she
had she had expended on one person. Of love, of what we know by love,
of love as he himself understood it, she had not one particle for
Geoffrey. But there was a feeling which she could hardly explain to
herself. It would have been respect, respect for his noble heart, his
thorough uprightness, and strict sense of honour; but this respect was
diluted by an appreciation of his dubiety, his vacillation, his utter
impotency of saying a harsh word or doing a harsh thing; and diluted in
a way which invested the cold feeling of respect with a warmer hue, and
rendered him, if less perfect, certainly more interesting in her eyes.
Never, even for an instant, had she thought of him with love-passion;
not when she gazed dreamily at him out of the voluptuous depths of her
deep-violet eyes; not when, on that night when all had been arranged
between them, she had lain on his breast in the steel-blue rays of the
spring moon. She had--well, feigned it, if you like,--though she would
scarcely avow that, deeming rather that she had accepted the devotion
which he had offered her without repelling it. _Il y a toujours l'un
qui baise, l'autre qui tend la joue_. That axiom, unromantic, but
true in most cases, was strictly fulfilled in the present instance.
Margaret proffered no love, but accepted, if not willingly, at least
with a thorough show of graciousness, all that was proffered to her.
And in the heartfelt worship of Geoffrey Ludlow there was something
inexplicably attractive to her. Attractive, probably, because of its
entire novelty and utter unselfishness. She could compare it with
nothing she had ever seen or known. To her first lover there had been
the attraction of enchaining the first love of a very young girl, the
romance of stolen meetings and secret interviews, the enchantment of
an elopement, which was looked upon as a great sin by those whom he
scorned, and a great triumph by those whose applause he envied; the
gratification of creating the jealousy of his compeers, and of being
talked about as an example to be shunned by those whom he despised. He
had the satisfaction of flaunting her beauty through the world, and of
gaining that world's applause for his success in having made it succumb
to him. But how was it with Geoffrey? The very opposite, in every
way. At the very best her early history must be shrouded in doubt and
obscurity. If known it might act prejudicially against her husband with
his patrons, and those on whom he was dependent for his livelihood.
Even her beauty could not afford him much source of gratification, save
to himself; he could seldom or never enjoy that reflected pleasure
which a sensible man feels at the world's admiration of his wife; for
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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