All this fell on Thoma like a thunderbolt. She stood as though on fire.
Her fresh life seemed all burned away and turned to ashes. She pressed
her cold hands to her burning face, and fled homeward, unseen.
When she had almost reached the house, she started back in terror, as
though a ghost had waylaid her; but it was only the dog who rubbed
himself affectionately against her. Thoma was angry with herself for
being so easily frightened. "That must not be, and certainly not now."
The dog leaped before her, barking. He had evidently been driven home.
When she came in, her mother resting her hand on her open prayer-book,
asked how Cushion-Kate was doing.
Thoma acknowledged that she had not been to see her, but did not tell
the reason.
Her mother begged Thoma to stay with her during the night. Thoma sat by
the bed until she had gone to sleep, and then went to her own room, for
she knew that she would disturb her mother's rest.
CHAPTER XX.
It was late at night, when Thoma threw open the window of the room in
which she should have been asleep. Her cheeks glowed; but her lover,
who on this mild spring night, should have been talking with and
caressing her, came not. From the forest came the song of a
nightingale, and from the hill behind another answered, in rivalry.
Thoma did not hear them. She was struggling with a demon that night.
Thoma was a well-bred farmer's daughter. To be sure she had not had
much training. She had been one of the best scholars in the public
school, and at home she was taught to be diligent and honest; and this
she was. She was proud and imperious like her father, who had indulged
her from her childhood, and, as her mother cared nothing for the
outside world, had been her companion on all sorts of pleasure
excursions. He delighted in her decision of character, and above all
else had encouraged her pride.
A daughter of a neighboring farmer had been Thoma's playmate, but in
reality, her father was her only confidant. It might do for poor people
to fall in love, but Thoma, as became a rich farmer's daughter, had
made up her mind to marry only a rich and influential man of the same
class. Anton, to be sure, was of somewhat lower rank, but still he was
of a good family; and, though not rich, he was sought after by all the
daughters of the country side.
Even a princess is glad to be loved; and certainly no princess was ever
more deeply loved, or received truer homage than Anton gave Thoma.
And now how had it all turned out!
The pride which Landolin had fostered in his child until it had grown
all too powerful, was now turned against him, and against the whole
world.
Thoma clenched her hands. She did not want to be pardoned, or receive
anything as a gift, not even from her lover. "He shall not come and
say, or even hint by his manner--'The honor of your family is lost; you
are the daughter of a murderer; but still I will be good and true to
you.' No--it is over."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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