When will the doctor understand that payment deferred 16maketh the patient dishonest? When will he consider the necessities of his wife and children as outweighing the feelings of the patient who owes him money? When will he be a man, and not a time-server and truckler to appearances? He would take the money did he not fear the patient might suspect that his doctor was not prosperous. He wishes the patient to think that the doctor and his family dine with the chameleons, or are fed by ravens. Yet the medical Elijah waiteth in vain for the manna-bearing birds—they know him for what he is, a counterfeit prophet who vainly yearns for the flesh-pots of Egypt—who has a ponderous and all-consuming desire for pabulum, and a microcephalic capacity for finance. Doctors are supposed to be keen judges of human nature. I often think this is absolutely without foundation. Defective knowledge in this direction is a very expensive luxury to the medical profession. The confidence man and sharper cannot fool the average doctor into buying a gold brick, perhaps, but they can come very near it. The oily-tongued and plausible man with a scheme finds the doctor his easiest prey. The doctor has often hard enough work to wring a few dollars out of his field of labor, and it might be supposed that it would be difficult to get those dollars away from him, but no, it’s only too easy. He bites at everything that comes along—he often rises to a bare hook. Mining stocks, irrigation and colonization schemes, expensive books that he doesn’t want, will never need and couldn’t find time to read if he would, histories of his town or state in which his biography and picture will appear for $100—proprietary medicine schemes, stock in publications 17of various kinds; he bites at everything going—he has embonpoint cerebrale. Oh, but the doctor is easy! I have very painful memories. The best investment I ever made was when I paid a fellow for painting a sign for the door of my consultation room, reading: “Notice—Persons with schemes will please keep out. I have some of my own to promote.”