It nerves her to new effort. “Was not Féodorovna very much excited at
your getting it?” her terror of herself driving her on into a torrent of
trivial questions. “How is Féodorovna? is she yellow still?”
“No; not at all.”
“Is she quite herself again?--quite recovered?”
“She is supposed to be.”
“But you think that she is not?”
“I think she is--rather--hysterical.”
Lavinia’s feverish trickle of inquiry drops into silence. Between the
lines of his brief words, and in the constraint of his tone, she reads
that the method adopted by Miss Prince to show her hysteria has been to
throw herself into his arms, as she had done by letter into General ----’s,
and has volunteered to follow him round the globe, as she had
generously done in the case of his predecessor. Well, she herself has
been within an ace of a similar action during the last five minutes. She
ought, therefore, to feel a sympathy for the same abandonment on the
part of another. And yet, although Miss Carew knows, as well as if she
had been present at the drama, that Féodorovna has remained in Binning’s
arms not a moment longer than the space of time needed for him to find a
chair in which to deposit her, yet a dizzying jealousy seizes her at the
thought that, though only for a minute, and deeply against the will of
the object of her amorous demonstration, Miss Prince has lain on that
breast whose pulsing against her own Lavinia will never feel.
“_Hysterical!_” she repeats, after a pause, in a low key of suspicion.
“Why was she hysterical? How did she show that she was hysterical?”
A slight flush, or so she fancies, passes over his hollow cheeks.
“Oh, I don’t know. How do people usually show it?”--with impatient
evasion.
“Laughing? Crying?”
“Yes, yes; that sort of thing!” Then, with an upbraiding accent, that
escapes him against his will, “Why should we talk about her, poor soul?”
“Why not?” she answers. “What else is there to talk about? There is
nothing else.”
The words, extravagant as they are, represent to Lavinia the exact
truth. _He!_ _She!_ There is nothing else in God’s universe; and before
both him and her stands the prohibitory angel, the flame of whose waved
sword blinds them to all creation also. She looks straight before her in
dogged despair, and a caught half-sobbing breath beside her tells her
with what a strangling grip the temptation is taking him by the throat.
Yet this time she puts out no finger, utters no wisely trivial
commonplace to help him. The mental picture of Féodorovna clinging
sobbing round his neck, even though she knows with what repellant
grudgingness that embrace had been met, has robbed Lavinia of all
further power of fight than what lies in silence. He does not leave her
even that.
“We shall hear of each other indirectly, I suppose?” he says by-and-by,
in a voice not the clearer for the lump in his throat, which is clearly
past his power to swallow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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