“I am ready,” she answers quietly. “I was only waiting for you.” She is
fighting tooth and nail with her agitation; telling herself what a
Bedlamite thing it is, all the way across the tesselated marble of the
pretentious sitting-hall, up the flights of the profoundly carpeted
stairs, through the hot-water-warmed passages; and in outward appearance
it is conquered by the time they reach and pause at a closed door.
“You must understand that he is not to be agitated in any way; that you
must not approach any painful subject,” says Féodorovna, in an
exasperating whisper of command.
“Wouldn’t it be better to put it off?” asks Miss Carew, in jarred
recoiling from the just-opening portal; but her companion frowns her
down.
The bed is in a recess of the room, and the window-blind, partly drawn
down in defence against the westering blaze, confuses Miss Carew’s
sight; besides which her feet have halted near the threshold to allow
time for her own introduction, so that she hears the voice before she
sees the face of the wounded man.
“Miss Carew has come to see you!” Féodorovna explains, in a tiresome
_carneying_ voice, leaning over the pillows. “But you must send her away
the moment you are tired of her; and you must not let her talk to you
about anything that is not quite pleasant and cheerful.”
Thus agreeably heralded by an implication of her own morose garrulity,
Lavinia approaches the invalid, hearing his answer, “I am exceedingly
grateful to her,” before she sees his face.
Often and often, in after-days, the fact that his first words concerning
her were an expression of gratitude recurs to her with a sense of the
keenest irony.
“Do you wish to be _tête-à-tête_?” asks Féodorovna, when the whole and
the sick have silently touched each other’s hands; “or had you rather I
would stay?” and the answer, courteous in its subtlety--
“I am sure that you ought to rest; I am ashamed to think of how much you
have been doing for me to-day,” is divined by Lavinia to be not what the
asker had expected.
However, without flagrant breach of her own axiom, that a sick man is
not to be thwarted, she cannot avoid compliance, and with an officious
parting question, “Where shall she sit? Would you like her to be beside
you, or where you can see her better?” and a final fussing over phials
and drinks, takes her cap, her apron, and her cuffs away.
A sense of relief at her departure, coupled with a strong, shy impulse
to follow her, and that again with a far stronger one to snatch another
look at the just-glanced-at face of him for whom Bill had died, join to
silence Lavinia for the first moment or two. That the wish to be
acquainted with each other’s features must be reciprocal, is proved by
the sick man’s first words--
“Would you mind sitting in that chair?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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