Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist: Early WritingsHearn, Lafcadio
General
Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist: Early Writings
Hearn, Lafcadio
Literature
Even as a perfume may create for us the spectre of a vanished day, or
as a melody may suddenly evoke for us the forgotten tone of some dear
voice,--so may the sound or sight of a name momentarily revive for us
all the faded colors of some memory-portrait so beautiful, so beloved,
that we had become afraid to look at it, and had permitted innumerable
spiders of Monotony to weave their tintless gauze before its face. But
we have had experiences which are now so long dead and so profoundly
sepultured in the Cemetery of Recollection that no mnemonic necromancy
can lend them recognizable outline; they have become totally
spiritualized, and reveal themselves only as faint wind-stirrings in
the atmosphere of Thought.
Surely the experience connected in some vague way with that blonde name
must have belonged to these:--the memory _had_ been; for I knew the
presence of its ghost; but viewless it obstinately remained.
It pursued me through the amber afternoon. By some inexplicable mental
process I discovered that it had been also associated with an idea of
death, a melancholy fancy, at the time, that I had heard or had seen it
before.--But when?--but where did I first learn that name? ... Night
came, but brought with it no answer to the enigma.
I watched the moon,--a new moon, yellow and curved like a young
banana,--droop over the dreaming sea: there were sparklings like
effervescence through the archway of stars,--perhaps the molecular
motion of some Astral Thought. Then seemed to fall upon the world a
hush like the hush of sanctuaries,--like that _Silence of Secrets_
told of in the Bhagavad-Gita: the peace of the Immensities. In such
hours fancies come to us like gusts of seawind,--as vast and pure; nay,
sometimes vaster,--measureless like the interspaces between sun and
sun. For it is only in these voiceless moments that the heavens speak
to us,--telling of mysteries beyond the luminous signaling of astral
deep unto astral deep, beyond the furthest burning of constellations;
mysteries that shall still be mysteries when our day-star shall have
yielded up his ghost of flame.--The death of a man; the death of a
sun:--is the awful Universe affected any more by the last than by the
first?
And with this question, the question of the morning returned, enigmatic
as before,--bringing to me the indescribable, creeping, electrical
sensation that we are said to feel especially when some heedless foot
is treading the place of our future grave.
It was late when I sought sleep that night--my last Floridian night.
And I dreamed strange dreams.
First, I dreamed of a plant,--a plant with sombre cordiform
leaves,--that _bent away from the light toward me_, and followed me
persistently when I retreated from it; crawling like a pet reptile to
get in front of me, and then rising up slowly, very slowly; stretching
out to me, as with dumb affection, two helpless arms--two long leafy
stems tipped with blood-colored flowers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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