[Footnote 1: Niebuhr, Letters, etc., Vol. III. p. 196.]
[Footnote 2: Heimskringla, Vol. I. p. 221.]
[Footnote 3: Miss Shepard's "Counterparts," Vol. I. p. 67.]
SOCIAL AIMS.
SOCIAL AIMS.
MUCH ill-natured criticism has been directed on American manners. I do
not think it is to be resented. Rather, if we are wise, we shall listen
and mend. Our critics will then be our best friends, though they did not
mean it. But in every sense the subject of manners has a constant
interest to thoughtful persons. Who does not delight in fine manners?
Their charm cannot be predicted or overstated. 'Tis perpetual promise of
more than can be fulfilled. It is music and sculpture and picture to
many who do not pretend to appreciation of those arts. It is even true
that grace is more beautiful than beauty. Yet how impossible to overcome
the obstacle of an unlucky temperament, and acquire good manners, unless
by living with the well-bred from the start; and this makes the value of
wise forethought to give ourselves and our children as much as possible
the habit of cultivated society.
'Tis an inestimable hint that I owe to a few persons of fine manners,
that they make behavior the very first sign of force,--behavior, and not
performance, or talent, or, much less, wealth. Whilst almost everybody
has a supplicating eye turned on events and things and other persons, a
few natures are central and forever unfold, and these alone charm us. He
whose word or deed you cannot predict, who answers you without any
supplication in his eye, who draws his determination from within, and
draws it instantly,--that man rules.
The staple figure in novels is the man of _aplomb_, who sits, among the
young aspirants and desperates, quite sure and compact, and, never
sharing their affections or debilities, hurls his word like a bullet
when occasion requires, knows his way, and carries his points. They may
scream or applaud, he is never engaged or heated. Napoleon is the type
of this class in modern history; Byron's heroes in poetry. But we, for
the most part, are all drawn into the _charivari_; we chide, lament,
cavil, and recriminate.
I think Hans Andersen's story of the cobweb cloth woven so fine that it
was invisible,--woven for the king's garment,--must mean manners, which
do really clothe a princely nature. Such a one can well go in a blanket,
if he would. In the gymnasium or on the sea-beach his superiority does
not leave him. But he who has not this fine garment of behavior is
studious of dress, and then not less of house and furniture and pictures
and gardens, in all which he hopes to lie _perdu_, and not be exposed.
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