Letters of Peregrine PickleUpton, George P. (George Putnam)
General
Letters of Peregrine Pickle
Upton, George P. (George Putnam)
Chicago (Ill.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"But," said I, "the world keeps turning round, and some day the
right must come uppermost."
Blobbs admitted that, but added: "What is the use of a man's coming
uppermost a century or two after he is dead, when there is nothing
left of him but a bone here and there, and, perhaps, nothing but a
handful of dirt, to enjoy the sensation? Why not have the world so
arranged that a decent man may, now and then, see some inducement to
continue decent, and that real merit may find its recompense without
being obliged to attain it through quackery, or enjoy it as a blessed
ghost, two or three hundred years from now?"
And all the time Blobbs was delivering his little speech, Blanche was
still hunting for the lost melody on the keys, and the ivy was still
trying to put its pretty green arms around Mignon's neck, and Celeste
was throwing double-sixes with Boosey, and Aurelia was playing with
that wonderful baby.
November 28, 1868.
_MRS. GRUNDY._
Let me whisper in your ear and tell you that Mrs. Grundy is a humbug.
I think it would be the most blessed thing that could happen in this
vale of tears if Mrs. Grundy should die. What a relief it would be to
all of us! Existence would be a boon instead of a bore.
While Mrs. Grundy lives, every man and woman is an arrant hypocrite.
While that fearful woman stands looking at us, every man and woman
is an arrant coward. We flatter ourselves, or attempt to flatter
ourselves--for there is not a man or woman who really believes
it--that we are saying and doing things from principle, when in
reality we are saying and doing them because Mrs. Grundy, in the
shape of our next door neighbor, is looking at us and talking about
us. You and I go to church and sit through services which may be
the essence of stupidity, and we put on serious faces, and sit very
primly, and regard our mortal enemy in the next slip with a lenient
face, and pretend to listen to Dr. Creamcheese's commonplaces, and go
out very solemnly--and all because Mrs. Grundy is looking at us from
every direction, and when we get home, out of Mrs. Grundy's sight,
we are ourselves again. We go through the formalities of a fast,
and rigidly abstain from the good things while Mrs. Grundy's eyes
are upon us, but the moment they are removed, we go into the larder
and indulge in the best it affords. Celeste meets with another Dear
Creature and lavishes all her affections upon her, when she does not
care a snap of her pretty little finger about her, merely because
Mrs. Grundy is looking at her. We are all of us, every day of our
lives, going through with tedious conventionalities, which we know
are conventionalities, which we do not believe in, merely because
that woman Grundy is looking at us. She makes us hypocrites in every
function of life. Thackeray struck Mrs. Grundy a blow in the face
when he drew with his satirical and powerful pencil Louis XI. in his
royal robes and Louis XI. in _puris naturalibus_. In one picture we
saw Louis XI.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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