Epistolary fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction
So, my sweetheart, you have the fruit without the flowers; I the flowers
without the fruit. The contrast in our lives still holds good. Between
the two of us we have surely enough philosophy to find the moral of it
some day. Bah! only ten months married! Too soon, you will admit, to
give up hope.
We are leading a gay, yet far from empty life, as is the way with happy
people. The days are never long enough for us. Society, seeing me in
the trappings of a married woman, pronounces the Baronne de Macumer
much prettier than Louise de Chaulieu: a happy love is a most becoming
cosmetic. When Felipe and I drive along the Champs-Elysees in the
bright sunshine of a crisp January day, beneath the trees, frosted with
clusters of white stars, and face all Paris on the spot where last year
we met with a gulf between us, the contrast calls up a thousand fancies.
Suppose, after all, your last letter should be right in its forecast,
and we are too presumptuous!
If I am ignorant of a mother's joys, you shall tell me about them; I
will learn by sympathy. But my imagination can picture nothing to equal
the rapture of love. You will laugh at my extravagance; but, I assure
you, that a dozen times in as many months the longing has seized me to
die at thirty, while life was still untarnished, amidst the roses of
love, in the embrace of passion. To bid farewell to the feast at its
brightest, before disappointment has come, having lived in this sunshine
and celestial air, and well-nigh spent myself in love, not a leaf
dropped from my crown, not an illusion perished in my heart, what a
dream is there! Think what it would be to bear about a young heart in an
aged body, to see only cold, dumb faces around me, where even strangers
used to smile; to be a worthy matron! Can Hell have a worse torture?
On this very subject, in fact, Felipe and I have had our first quarrel.
I contended that he ought to have sufficient moral strength to kill me
in my sleep when I have reached thirty, so that I might pass from one
dream to another. The wretch declined. I threatened to leave him alone
in the world, and, poor child, he turned white as a sheet. My dear,
this distinguished statesman is neither more nor less than a baby. It is
incredible what youth and simplicity he contrived to hide away. Now that
I allow myself to think aloud with him, as I do with you, and have no
secrets from him, we are always giving each other surprises.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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