“Quickly after this I fell into company with one poor man that made
profession of religion; who, as I then thought, did talk pleasantly of
the Scriptures and of the matter of religious. Wherefore, falling into
some love and liking of what he said, I betook me to my Bible, and began
to take great pleasure in reading, but especially with the historical
part thereof; for as for Paul’s Epistles, and such like Scriptures, I
could not away with them, being as yet ignorant either of the corruption
of my nature, or of the want and worth of Jesus Christ to save me.
Wherefore I fell into some outward reformation, both in my words and
life, and did set the commandments before me for my way to heaven; which
commandments I also did strive to keep, and, as I thought, did keep them
pretty well sometimes, and then I should have comfort; yet now and then
should break one, and so afflict my conscience; but then I should repent,
and say I was sorry for it, and promise God to do better next time, and
there got help again; for then I thought I pleased God as well as any man
in England. Thus I continued about a year; all which time our neighbours
did take me to be a very godly man, a new and religious man, and did
marvel much to see such great and famous alteration in my life and
manners; and indeed so it was, though I knew not Christ, nor grace, nor
faith, nor hope; for, as I have well since seen, had I then died, my
state had been most fearful. But, I say, my neighbours were amazed at
this my great conversion, from prodigious profaneness to something like a
moral life; and so they well might; for this my conversion was as great
as for Tom of Bedlam to become a sober man. Now, therefore, they began
to speak well of me, both before my face and behind my back. Now I was,
as they said, become godly; now I was become a right honest man. But oh!
when I understood these were their words and opinions of me, it pleased
me mighty well. For though, as yet, I was nothing but a poor painted
hypocrite, yet I loved to be talked of as one that was truly godly . . .
And thus I continued for about a twelvemonth or more.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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