Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People — John Shaqi
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘I am not pretending to account for the population o’ Larut being
laid down according to such fabulous dimensions. O’ the five white men
engaged upon the extraction o’ tin ore and mercantile pursuits, there
were three o’ the sons o’ Anak. Wait while I remember. Lammitter was the
first by two inches--a giant in the land, an’ a terreefic man to
cross in his ways. From heel to head he was six feet nine inches, and
proportionately built across and through the thickness of his body.
Six good feet nine inches--an overbearin’ man. Next to him, and I have
forgotten his precise business, was Sandy Vowle. And he was six feet
seven, but lean and lathy, and it was more in the elasteecity of his
neck that the height lay than in any honesty o’ bone and sinew. Five
feet and a few odd inches may have been his real height. The remainder
came out when he held up his head, and six feet seven he was upon the
door-sills. I took his measure in chalk standin’ on a chair. And next
to him, but a proportionately made man, ruddy and of a fair countenance,
was Jock Coan--that they called the Fir Cone. He was but six feet
five, and a child beside Lammitter and Vowle. When the three walked
out together, they made a scunner run through the colony o’ Larut. The
Malays ran round them as though they had been the giant trees in
the Yosemite Valley--these three Lang Men o’ Larut. It was perfectly
ridiculous--a lusus naturae--that one little place should have contained
maybe the three tallest ordinar’ men upon the face o’ the earth.
‘Obsairve now the order o’ things. For it led to the finest big drink in
Larut, and six sore heads the morn that endured for a week. I am against
immoderate liquor, but the event to follow was a justification. You must
understand that many coasting steamers call at Larut wi’ strangers o’
the mercantile profession. In the spring time, when the young cocoanuts
were ripening, and the trees o’ the forests were putting forth their
leaves, there came an American man to Larut, and he was six foot three,
or it may have been four, in his stockings. He came on business from
Sacramento, but he stayed for pleasure wi’ the Lang Men o’ Larut. Less
than, a half o’ the population were ordinar’ in their girth and stature,
ye will understand--Howson and Nailor, merchants, five feet nine or
thereabouts. He had business with those two, and he stood above them
from the six feet threedom o’ his height till they went to drink. In
the course o’ conversation he said, as tall men will, things about his
height, and the trouble of it to him. That was his pride o’ the flesh.
‘“As the longest man in the island--” he said, but there they took him
up and asked if he were sure.
‘“I say I am the longest man in the island,” he said, “and on that I’ll
bet my substance.”
‘They laid down the bed-plates of a big drink then and there, and put
it aside while they called Jock Coan from his house, near by among the
fireflies’ winking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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