Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘That man Dearsley’s rushin’ on his fate,’ continued Mulvaney, solemnly
wagging his head. ‘All Hell had no name bad enough for me that tide.
Faith, he called me a robber! Me! that was savin’ him from continuin’
in his evil ways widout a remonstrince--an’ to a man av conscience
a remonstrince may change the chune av his life. “‘Tis not for me to
argue,” sez I, “fwhatever ye are, Mister Dearsley, but, by my hand, I’ll
take away the temptation for you that lies in that sedan-chair.”--“You
will have to fight me for ut,” sez he, “for well I know you will never
dare make report to any one.”--“Fight I will,” sez I, “but not this day,
for I’m rejuced for want av nourishment.”--“Ye’re an ould bould hand,”
sez he, sizin’ me up an’ down; “an’ a jool av a fight we will have.
Eat now an’ dhrink, an’ go your way.” Wid that he gave me some hump an’
whisky--good whisky--an’ we talked av this an’ that the while. “It goes
hard on me now,” sez I, wipin’ my mouth, “to confiscate that piece av
furniture, but justice is justice.”--“Ye’ve not got ut yet,” sez he;
“there’s the fight between.”--“There is,” sez I, “an’ a good fight. Ye
shall have the pick av the best quality in my rigimint for the dinner
you have given this day.” Thin I came hot-foot to you two. Hould your
tongue, the both. ‘Tis this way. To-morrow we three will go there an’ he
shall have his pick betune me an’ Jock. Jock’s a deceivin’ fighter, for
he is all fat to the eye, an’ he moves slow. Now, I’m all beef to the
look, an’ I move quick. By my reckonin’ the Dearsley man won’t take me;
so me an’ Orth’ris ‘ll see fair play. Jock, I tell you, ‘twill be big
fightin’--whipped, wid the cream above the jam. Afther the business
‘twill take a good three av us--Jock ‘ll be very hurt--to haul away that
sedan-chair.’
‘Palanquin.’ This from Ortheris.
‘Fwhatever ut is, we must have ut. ‘Tis the only sellin’ piece av
property widin reach that we can get so cheap. An’ fwhat’s a fight
afther all? He has robbed the naygur-man, dishonust. We rob him honust
for the sake av the whisky he gave me.’
‘But wot’ll we do with the bloomin’ article when we’ve got it? Them
palanquins are as big as ‘ouses, an’ uncommon ‘ard to sell, as McCleary
said when ye stole the sentry-box from the Curragh.’
‘Who’s goin’ to do t’ fightin’?’ said Learoyd, and Ortheris subsided.
The three returned to barracks without a word. Mulvaney’s last argument
clinched the matter. This palanquin was property, vendible, and to
be attained in the simplest and least embarrassing fashion. It would
eventually become beer. Great was Mulvaney.
Next afternoon a procession of three formed itself and disappeared into
the scrub in the direction of the new railway line. Learoyd alone was
without care, for Mulvaney dived darkly into the future, and little
Ortheris feared the unknown. What befell at that interview in the lonely
pay-shed by the side of the half-built embankment, only a few hundred
coolies know, and their tale is confusing one, running thus--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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