Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted CharactersHardy, Thomas
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Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted Characters
Hardy, Thomas
Short stories, English; Wessex (England) -- Fiction
It is a Saturday afternoon of blue and yellow autumn time, and the
scene is the High Street of a well-known market-town. A large carrier’s
van stands in the quadrangular fore-court of the White Hart Inn, upon
the sides of its spacious tilt being painted, in weather-beaten
letters: ‘Burthen, Carrier to Longpuddle.’ These vans, so numerous
hereabout, are a respectable, if somewhat lumbering, class of
conveyance, much resorted to by decent travellers not overstocked with
money, the better among them roughly corresponding to the old French
_diligences_.
The present one is timed to leave the town at four in the afternoon
precisely, and it is now half-past three by the clock in the turret at
the top of the street. In a few seconds errand-boys from the shops
begin to arrive with packages, which they fling into the vehicle, and
turn away whistling, and care for the packages no more. At twenty
minutes to four an elderly woman places her basket upon the shafts,
slowly mounts, takes up a seat inside, and folds her hands and her
lips. She has secured her corner for the journey, though there is as
yet no sign of a horse being put in, nor of a carrier. At the
three-quarters, two other women arrive, in whom the first recognizes
the postmistress of Upper Longpuddle and the registrar’s wife, they
recognizing her as the aged groceress of the same village. At five
minutes to the hour there approach Mr. Profitt, the schoolmaster, in a
soft felt hat, and Christopher Twink, the master-thatcher; and as the
hour strikes there rapidly drop in the parish clerk and his wife, the
seedsman and his aged father, the registrar; also Mr. Day, the
world-ignored local landscape-painter, an elderly man who resides in
his native place, and has never sold a picture outside it, though his
pretensions to art have been nobly supported by his fellow-villagers,
whose confidence in his genius has been as remarkable as the outer
neglect of it, leading them to buy his paintings so extensively (at the
price of a few shillings each, it is true) that every dwelling in the
parish exhibits three or four of those admired productions on its
walls.
Burthen, the carrier, is by this time seen bustling round the vehicle;
the horses are put in, the proprietor arranges the reins and springs up
into his seat as if he were used to it—which he is.
‘Is everybody here?’ he asks preparatorily over his shoulder to the
passengers within.
As those who were not there did not reply in the negative the muster
was assumed to be complete, and after a few hitches and hindrances the
van with its human freight was got under way. It jogged on at an easy
pace till it reached the bridge which formed the last outpost of the
town. The carrier pulled up suddenly.
‘Bless my soul!’ he said, ‘I’ve forgot the curate!’
All who could do so gazed from the little back window of the van, but
the curate was not in sight.
‘Now I wonder where that there man is?’ continued the carrier.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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