“U--m. You have to do that here to get--lace?” “You have to do that here to get _anything_---at the price you should get it. You, and people who go shopping the way you do, bring discredit upon the entire American nation.” “That so? Sorry. Never meant to do that. All right, Young Lady, I'll do the best I can. Never did act that way, but suppose I can, if the rest of them do.” “Groan and hold my head,” she heard him murmuring as they entered the shop. He proved an apt pupil. It may indeed be set down that his aptitude was their undoing. They had no sooner entered the shop than he pulled out his watch and uttered an exclamation of horror at the sight of the time. Virginia could scarcely look at the lace, so insistently did he keep waving the watch before her. His contempt for everything shown was open and emphatic. It was also articulate. Virginia grew nervous, seeing the real red showing through in the Frenchwoman's cheeks. And when the price was at last named--a price which made Virginia jubilant--there burst upon her outraged ears something between a jeer and a howl of rage, the whole of it terrifyingly done in the form of a groan; she looked at her companion to see him holding up his hands and wobbling his head as though it had been suddenly loosened from his spine, cast one look at the Frenchwoman--then fled, followed by her groaning compatriot. “I didn't mean you to act like _that_!” she stormed. “Why, I did just what you told me to! Seemed to me I was following directions to the letter. Don't think for a minute _I'm_ going to bring discredit on the American nation! Not a bad scheme--taking out my watch that way, was it?” “Oh, beautiful _scheme_. I presume you notice, however, that we have no lace.” They walked half a block in silence. “Now I'll take you to another shop,” she then volunteered, in a turning the other cheek fashion, “and here please do nothing at all. Please just--sit.” “Sort of as if I was feeble-minded, eh?” “Oh, don't _try_ to look feeble-minded,” she begged, alarmed at seeming to suggest any more parts; “just sit there--as if you were thinking of something very far away.” “Say, Young Lady, look here; this is very nice, being put on to the tricks of the trade, but the money end of it isn't cutting much ice, and isn't there any way you can just _buy_ things--the way you do in Cincinnati? Can't you get their stuff without making a comic opera out of it?” “No, you can't,” spoke relentless Virginia; “not unless you want them to laugh and say 'Aren't Americans fools?' the minute the door is shut.” “Fools--eh? I'll show them a thing or two!” “Oh, please show them nothing here! Please just--sit.”