French fiction -- 20th century; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Slowly I stroll to the river bank. When I return some one is on the
seat, enthroned in the shadow. The face is indistinct, but in the
apparel of mourning I can see the neck-opening, like a faint pale
heart, and the misty expansion of the skirt. Stooping, I hear her low
voice, "I've come, you see." And, "Marie!" I say.
I sit down beside her, and we remain silent. She is there--wholly.
Through her black veils I can make out the whiteness of her face and
neck and hands--all her beauty, like light enclosed.
For me she had only been a charming picture, a passer-by, one apart,
living her own life. Now she has listened to me; she has come at my
call; she has brought herself here.
* * * * * *
The day has been scorching. Towards the end of the afternoon
storm-rain burst over the world and then ceased. One can still hear
belated drops falling from the branches which overhang the wall. The
air is charged with odors of earth and leaves and flowers, and wreaths
of wind go heavily by.
She is the first to speak; she speaks of one thing and another.
I do not know what she is saying; I draw nearer to see her lips; I
answer her, "I am always thinking of you."
Hearing these words, she is silent. Her silence grows greater and
greater in the shadows. I have drawn still nearer; so near that I feel
on my cheek the wing-beat of her breath; so near that her silence
caresses me.
Then, to keep myself in countenance, or to smoke, I have struck a
match, but I make no use of the gleam at my finger-tips. It shows me
Marie, quivering a little; it gilds her pale face. A smile arises on
her face; I have seen her full of that smile.
My eyes grow dim and my hands tremble. I wish she would speak.
"Tell me----" Her down-bent neck unfolds, and she lifts her head to
speak. At that moment, by the light of the flame that I hold, whose
great revealing kindness I am guarding, our eyes fall on an inscription
scratched in the wall--a heart--and inside it two initials, H-S. Ah,
that design was made by me one evening. Little Helen was lolling there
then, and I thought I adored her. For a moment I am overpowered by
this apparition of a mistake, bygone and forgotten. Marie does not
know; but seeing those initials, and divining a presence between us,
she dare not speak.
As the match is on the point of going out I throw it down. The little
flame's last flicker has lighted up for me the edge of the poor black
serge skirt, so worn that it shines a little, even in the evening, and
has shown me the girl's shoe. There is a hole in the heel of the
stocking, and we have both seen it. In quick shame, Marie draws her
foot under her skirt; and I--I tremble still more that my eyes have
touched a little of her maiden flesh, a fragment of her real innocence.
Gently she stands up in the grayness, and puts an end to this first
fate-changing meeting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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