England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“None of ’em liked to say wot was in their minds, ’aving all seen
George English and swore pretty strong not to tell his secret, and none
of ’em liking to own up that they’d been digging up their gardens to
get money as ’e’d told ’em about. But presently Bill Chambers ses:
“‘Without telling no secrets or breaking no promises, Joe, supposing a
certain ’ouse was mentioned in a certain letter from forrin parts, wot
’ouse was it?’
“‘Supposing it was so,’ ses Joe, careful too; ‘the second ’ouse
counting from the Cauliflower.’
“‘The ninth ’ouse, you mean,’ ses Henery Walker, sharply.
“‘Second ’ouse in Mill Lane, you mean,’ ses Sam Jones, wot lived there.
“Then they all see ’ow they’d been done, and that they wasn’t, in a
manner o’ speaking, referring to the same letter. They came up and sat
’ere where we’re sitting now, all dazed-like. It wasn’t only the chance
o’ losing the prize that upset ’em, but they’d wasted their time and
ruined their gardens and got called mad by the other folks. Henery
Walker’s state o’ mind was dreadful for to see, and he kep’ thinking of
’orrible things to say to George English, and then being afraid they
wasn’t strong enough.
“While they was talking who should come along but George English
hisself! He came right up to the table, and they all sat back on the
bench and stared at ’im fierce, and Henery Walker crinkled ’is nose at
him.
“‘Evening,’ he ses, but none of ’em answered im; they all looked at
Henery to see wot ’e was going to say.
“‘Wot’s up?’ ses George, in surprise.
“‘_Gardens_,’ ses Henery.
“‘So I’ve ’eard,’ ses George.
“He shook ’is ’ead and looked at them sorrowful and severe at the same
time.
“‘So I ’eard, and I couldn’t believe my ears till I went and looked for
myself,’ he ses, ‘and wot I want to say is this: you know wot I’m
referring to. If any man ’as found wot don’t belong to him ’e knows who
to give it to. It ain’t wot I should ’ave expected of men wot’s lived
in the same place as _me_ for years. Talk about honesty,’ ’e ses, shaking
’is ’ead agin, ‘I should like to see a little of it.’
“Peter Smith opened his mouth to speak, and ’ardly knowing wot ’e was
doing took a pull at ’is beer at the same time, and if Sam Jones ’adn’t
been by to thump ’im on the back I b’lieve he’d ha’ died there and
then.
“‘Mark my words,’ ses George English, speaking very slow and solemn,
‘there’ll be no blessing on it. Whoever’s made ’is fortune by getting
up and digging ’is garden over won’t get no real benefit from it. He
may wear a black coat and new trousers on Sunday, but ’e won’t be
’appy. I’ll go and get my little taste o’ beer somewhere else,’ ’e ses.
‘I can’t breathe here.’
“He walked off before any one could say a word; Bill Chambers dropped
’is pipe and smashed it, Henery Walker sat staring after ’im with ’is
mouth wide open, and Sam Jones, who was always one to take advantage,
drank ’is own beer under the firm belief that it was Joe’s.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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