England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“‘Go easy, mate,’ whispers Tom; ‘you don’t know who you’re talking to.’
“‘Bosh,’ ses Joe, ‘he’s no good. He’s too fat and too silly to do any
’arm. He sha’n’t ’urt you while I’m ’ere.’
“He just rolled out of ’is bunk and, standing in front of Bill, put ’is
fists up at ’im and stared ’im straight in the eye.
“‘You touch that man,’ he ses, quietly, pointing to Tom, ‘and I’ll give
you such a dressing-down as you’ve never ’ad afore. Mark my words,
now.’
“‘I wasn’t going to ’it him,’ ses Bill, in a strange, mild voice.
“‘You’d better not,’ ses the young ’un, shaking his fist at ’im; ‘you’d
better not, my lad. If there’s any fighting to be done in this
fo’c’s’le I’ll do it. Mind that.’
“It’s no good me saying we was staggered; becos staggered ain’t no word
for it. To see Bill put ’is hands in ’is pockets and try and whistle,
and then sit down on a locker and scratch ’is head, was the most
amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Presently ’e begins to sing under his
breath.
“‘Stop that ’umming,’ ses Joe; ‘when I want you to ’um, I’ll tell you.’
“Bill left off ’umming, and then he gives a little cough behind the
back of ’is ’and, and, arter fidgeting about a bit with ’is feet, went
up on deck again.
“‘Strewth,’ ses Tom, looking round at us, ‘’ave we shipped a bloomin’
prize-fighter?’
“‘Wot did you call me?’ ses Joe, looking at ’im.
“‘Nothing, mate,’ ses Tom, drawing back.
“‘You keep a quiet tongue in your ’ed,’ ses Joe, ‘and speak when you’re
spoken to, my lad.’
“He was a ordinary seaman, mind, talking to A. B.’s like that. Men
who’d been up aloft and doing their little bit when ’e was going about
catching cold in ’is little petticuts. Still, if Bill could stand it,
we supposed as we’d better.
“Bill stayed up on deck till we was under way, and ’is spirit seemed to
be broke. He went about ’is work like a man wot was walking in ’is
sleep, and when breakfast come ’e ’ardly tasted it.
“Joe made a splendid breakfast, and when he’d finished ’e went to
Bill’s bunk and chucked the things out all over the place and said ’e
was going to ’ave it for himself. And Bill sat there and took it all
quiet, and by-and-by he took ’is things up and put them in Joe’s bunk
without a word.
“It was the most peaceful fust day we ’ad ever ’ad down that fo’c’s’le,
Bill usually being in ’is tantrums the fust day or two at sea, and
wanting to know why ’e’d been born. If you talked you was noisy and
worriting, and if you didn’t talk you was sulky; but this time ’e sat
quite still and didn’t interfere a bit. It was such a pleasant change
that we all felt a bit grateful, and at tea-time Tom Baker patted Joe
on the back and said he was one o’ the right old sort.
“‘You’ve been in a scrape or two in your time, I know,’ he ses,
admiring like. ’I knew you was a bit of a one with your fists direckly
I see you.’
“‘Oh, ’ow’s that?’ asks Joe.
“‘I could see by your nose,’ ses Tom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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