English drama -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
action! There was nothing permanent, or decent, or worth while, except
thought. And of that he was almost incapable now. His mind, when it
was not occupied by the immediate and actual, turned inward morbidly
upon itself. He looked at the manuscript of his book and wondered
whether he would ever be able to go on with it. It seemed doubtful.
Was he, then, condemned to pass the rest of his existence enslaved to
the beastliness and futility of mere quotidian action? And even in
action his powers were limited; if he exerted himself too much--and
the limits of fatigue were soon reached--Pearl Bellairs, watching
perpetually like a hungry tigress for her opportunity, leapt upon him
and took possession of his conscious faculties. And then, it might be
for a matter of hours or of days, he was lost, blotted off the
register of living souls, while she performed, with intense and
hideous industry, her self-appointed task. More than once his
anti-conscription campaigns had been cut short and he himself had
suddenly disappeared from public life, to return with the vaguest
stories of illness or private affairs--stories that made his friends
shake their heads and wonder which it was among the noble army of
vices that poor Dick Greenow was so mysteriously addicted to. Some
said drink, some said women, some said opium, and some hinted at
things infinitely darker and more horrid. Hyman asked him point-blank
what it was, one morning when he had returned to the office after
three days' unaccountable absence.
Dick blushed painfully. "It isn't anything you think," he said.
"What is it, then?" Hyman insisted.
"I can't tell you," Dick replied desperately and in torture, "but I
swear it's nothing discreditable. I beg you won't ask me any more."
Hyman had to pretend to be satisfied with that.
IX
A TACTICAL move in the anti-conscription campaign was the foundation
of a club, a place where people with pacific or generally advanced
ideas could congregate.
"A club like this would soon be the intellectual centre of London,"
said Hyman, ever sanguine.
Dick shrugged his shoulders. He had a wide experience of pacifists.
"If you bring people together," Hyman went on, "they encourage one
another to be bold--strengthen one another's faith."
"Yes," said Dick dyspeptically. "When they're in a herd, they can
believe that they're much more numerous and important than they really
are."
"But, man, they are numerous, they are important!" Hyman shouted and
gesticulated.
Dick allowed himself to be persuaded into an optimism which he knew to
be ill-founded. The consolations of religion do not console the less
efficaciously for being illusory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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