Where men bred in courts, accustomed to the world, or versed in diplomacy, would use some subterfuge, or would make a polite speech, or give a shrug of the shoulders, as the means of getting out of an embarrassing position, Lincoln raised a laugh by some bold west-country anecdote, and moved off in the cloud of merriment produced by the joke. When Attorney-General Bates was remonstrating apparently against the appointment of some indifferent lawyer to a place of judicial importance, the President interposed with: “Come now, Bates, he’s not half as bad as you think. Besides that, I must tell you, he did me a good turn long ago. When I took to the law, I was going to court one morning, with some ten or twelve miles of bad road before me, and I had no horse. “The judge overtook me in his carriage. “‘Hallo, Lincoln! are you not going to the court-house? Come in and I will give you a seat!’ “Well, I got in, and the Judge went on reading his papers. Presently the carriage struck a stump on one side of the road, then it hopped off to the other. I looked out, and I saw the driver was jerking from side to side in his seat, so I says: “‘Judge, I think your coachman has been taking a little too much this morning.’ “‘Well, I declare, Lincoln,’ said he, ‘I should not much wonder if you were right, for he has nearly upset me half a dozen times since starting.’ “So, putting his head out of the window, he shouted, ‘Why, you infernal scoundrel, you are drunk!’ “Upon which, pulling up his horses, and turning round with great gravity, the coachman said: “‘Begorra! that’s the first rightful decision that you have given for the last twelvemonth.’” While the company were laughing, the President beat a quiet retreat from the neighborhood. “PITY THE POOR ORPHAN.” After the War was well on, and several battles had been fought, a lady from Alexandria asked the President for an order to release a certain church which had been taken for a Federal hospital. The President said he could do nothing, as the post surgeon at Alexandria was immovable, and then asked the lady why she did not donate money to build a hospital. “We have been very much embarrassed by the war,” she replied, “and our estates are much hampered.” “You are not ruined?” asked the President. “No, sir, but we do not feel that we should give up anything we have left.” The President, after some reflection, then said: “There are more battles yet to be fought, and I think God would prefer that your church be devoted to the care and alleviation of the sufferings of our poor fellows. So, madam, you will excuse me. I can do nothing for you.”