Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
Bleeker acknowledged it was possible to overdo a good thing, and
then came back at the President with an anecdote of a good priest who
converted an Indian from heathenism to Christianity; the only difficulty
he had with him was to get him to pray for his enemies. “This Indian
had been taught to overcome and destroy all his friends he didn’t like,”
said Bleeker, “but the priest told him that while that might be the
Indian method, it was not the doctrine of Christianity or the Bible.
‘Saint Paul distinctly says,’ the priest told him, ‘If thine enemy
hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink.’
“The Indian shook his head at this, but when the priest added, ‘For
in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head,’ Poor Lo was
overcome with emotion, fell on his knees, and with outstretched hands
and uplifted eyes invoked all sorts of blessings on the heads of all his
enemies, supplicating for pleasant hunting-grounds, a large supply of
squaws, lots of papooses, and all other Indian comforts.
“Finally the good priest interrupted him (as you did me, Mr. President),
exclaiming, ‘Stop, my son! You have discharged your Christian duty, and
have done more than enough.’
“‘Oh, no, father,’ replied the Indian; ‘let me pray! I want to burn him
down to the stump!”
HAD A “KICK” COMING.
During the war, one of the Northern Governors, who was able, earnest
and untiring in aiding the administration, but always complaining,
sent dispatch after dispatch to the War Office, protesting against
the methods used in raising troops. After reading all his papers,
the President said, in a cheerful and reassuring tone to the
Adjutant-General:
“Never mind, never mind; those dispatches don’t mean anything. Just go
right ahead. The Governor is like a boy I once saw at a launching. When
everything was ready, they picked out a boy and sent him under the ship
to knock away the trigger and let her go.
“At the critical moment everything depended on the boy. He had to do the
job well by a direct, vigorous blow, and then lie flat and keep still
while the boat slid over him.
“The boy did everything right, but he yelled as if he were being
murdered from the time he got under the keel until he got out. I thought
the hide was all scraped off his back, but he wasn’t hurt at all.
“The master of the yard told me that this boy was always chosen for that
job; that he did his work well; that he never had been hurt, but that he
always squealed in that way.
“That’s just the way with Governor--. Make up your mind that he is not
hurt, and that he is doing the work right, and pay no attention to his
squealing. He only wants to make you understand how hard his task is,
and that he is on hand performing it.”
THE CASE OF BETSY ANN DOUGHERTY.
Many requests and petitions made to Mr. Lincoln when he was President
were ludicrous and trifling, but he always entered into them with that
humor-loving spirit that was such a relief from the grave duties of his
great office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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