Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
Once a party of Southerners called on him in behalf of one Betsy Ann
Dougherty. The spokesman, who was an ex-Governor, said:
“Mr. President, Betsy Ann Dougherty is a good woman. She lived in my
county and did my washing for a long time. Her husband went off and
joined the rebel army, and I wish you would give her a protection
paper.” The solemnity of this appeal struck Mr. Lincoln as uncommonly
ridiculous.
The two men looked at each other--the Governor desperately earnest, and
the President masking his humor behind the gravest exterior. At last
Mr. Lincoln asked, with inimitable gravity, “Was Betsy Ann a good
washerwoman?” “Oh, yes, sir, she was, indeed.”
“Was your Betsy Ann an obliging woman?” “Yes, she was certainly very
kind,” responded the Governor, soberly. “Could she do other things than
wash?” continued Mr. Lincoln with the same portentous gravity.
“Oh, yes; she was very kind--very.”
“Where is Betsy Ann?”
“She is now in New York, and wants to come back to Missouri, but she is
afraid of banishment.”
“Is anybody meddling with her?”
“No; but she is afraid to come back unless you will give her a
protection paper.”
Thereupon Mr. Lincoln wrote on a visiting card the following:
“Let Betsy Ann Dougherty alone as long as she behaves herself.
“A. LINCOLN.”
He handed this card to her advocate, saying, “Give this to Betsy Ann.”
“But, Mr. President, couldn’t you write a few words to the officers that
would insure her protection?”
“No,” said Mr. Lincoln, “officers have no time now to read letters. Tell
Betsy Ann to put a string in this card and hang it around her neck. When
the officers see this, they will keep their hands off your Betsy Ann.”
HAD TO WEAR A WOODEN SWORD.
Captain “Abe” Lincoln and his company (in the Black Hawk War) were
without any sort of military knowledge, and both were forced to acquire
such knowledge by attempts at drilling. Which was the more awkward, the
“squad” or the commander, it would have been difficult to decide.
In one of Lincoln’s earliest military problems was involved the process
of getting his company “endwise” through a gate. Finally he shouted,
“This company is dismissed for two minutes, when it will fall in again
on the other side of the gate!”
Lincoln was one of the first of his company to be arraigned for
unmilitary conduct. Contrary to the rules he fired a gun “within the
limits,” and had his sword taken from him. The next infringement of
rules was by some of the men, who stole a quantity of liquor, drank it,
and became unfit for duty, straggling out of the ranks the next day, and
not getting together again until late at night.
For allowing this lawlessness the captain was condemned to wear a wooden
sword for two days. These were merely interesting but trivial incidents
of the campaign. Lincoln was from the very first popular with his men,
although one of them told him to “go to the devil.”
“ABE” STIRRING THE “BLACK” COALS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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