Speaking of Hotels, reminds me of a little episode of one of Uncle Abe's professional visits to Cairo, in Egypt, a town fenced in with mud-banks and celebrated for its mud-holes and mean whisky. Thereabouts is a Hotel, and thereat Uncle Abe stopped because the water forbade further traveling. When his bill was presented to him next morning, he ventured to remark, "that his accommodation had not been of the most agreeable kind." "We are very much crowded," apologetically replied the landlord. "But I had hard work to get breakfast this morning." "Yes," continued the apologist, "we are greatly in need of help." "Well, well," said Uncle Abe, "you keep a first rate hotel in one respect." "Ah!" said the landlord, brightening up, "in what respect is that?" "Your bills," said Undo Abe, vanishing towards the "Central" cars. The Ky-ro-ite landlord perhaps thought he ought to be well compensated for keeping a hotel in such a place. A man of his sort used to "keep tavern" in Pasy County, Indiana, several years ago. A pedestrian stopped with him over night, for which the charge was 2.50. "Why, landlord," said he, "this is an outrageous bill." "You mean it's a big'un?" said the insatiate Boniface. "Yes, I do." "Well, stranger, we keep tavern here." "What has that to do with such a bill?" "Look at that'ere sign, stranger--cost ten dollars; your'n the fust trav'ler that's bin along for three weeks, and we can't afford to keep tavern for nothin--_we_ can't!" Not the Worst of it. Gov. Morgan, of New York, was urging the employment of General W------in active service, Seward objected, that he was "too old" for the emergency of the times. "Yes," said Uncle Abe, "we've got too many old officers in the army, and that is not the worst of it--_we've got two many old women_ there!" This was when Uncle Abe's faith was strong in little Mac. "Some conclusions;" said Uncle Abe on one occasion, "are nonsequential. To say that Rome was not built in a day, does not prove that it was built in a night." Accoutred en Militaire. In the outset of the famous Black-hawk war in Illinois, a "hoss company" was raised in the region where Uncle Abe was (then) a rising lawyer. I say rising, although he had then reached a height sufficient to help himself to most blessings--and he, the aforesaid U.A., was chosen Captain. Uncle Abe rode a "slapping stallion," who was either naturally restive, or appreciated his new honor too highly--at any rate, he corvetted and pirouetted like a very Bucephalus. At last he unhorsed his rider, who landed sprawling on the prairie in one of those green excrescences that abound where bovine herds range. As the discomfitted Uncle Abe rose, and surveyed his predicament, old Pierre Menard, who was a near spectator, remarked in his broken French: "Vell, I nevair sees any man accoutred en militaire like zat before." Most old suckers pronounce accoutred as the Yankees do the word cowcumber, and this rendered Menard's joke more unctious.