Perils of Illinois Lawyers. Years ago, when the capital of Suckerdom was a village of less "magnificence" than it now presents--when Lincoln, Harden, Baker, McDougal, Douglas, Shields and Ferguson were all village lawyers, and scarcely known to fame--Judge Thomas Brown was on the Supreme bench of the State. He was to some extent a "character;" but not a very successful lawyer. He went to California, since when he has been generally lost sight of; but his old friends may be assured that if he is in the "land of the living," Uncle Abe's tax collectors will find him. But that's neither here nor there. His ideas of the perils of practicing law in Illinois, in early times, is what is now before the reader. On one occasion, after he had changed his residence to Peoria, having some business to transact in Springfield, he arrived in that place and put up at the old American House, (now kept by Henry Bidgely, Esq.) He chanced to mention the name of Peoria. Instantly the attention of a countryman was fixed, upon him, who, at the first opportunity accosted him-- "From Peoria, Squar?" "Yes." "Much acquainted?" "Pretty well, Sir." "Know a lawyer up there named H------g R------s?" "Yes sir." "How's he getting along?" "Oh, first rate--devilish lucky man." "He's getting hold of considerable land, hain't he?" "Yes a deal--devilish lucky man. "Yes--large--devilish lucky man." "Look here, Squar," said the countryman, evidently puzzled at R------s being so devilish lucky. "What do you mean about his being so lucky?" "Mean? why I call any man lucky that practices law twenty years in Illinoiss, and don't get into the penitentiary." Couldn't Make a Presidential Chair. "Mr. Lincoln," said an ardent sovereignty man just at the beginning of the last Presidential contest "Mr. Douglas is a cabinet maker." "He _was_ when I first knew him," said Uncle Abe "but he gave up the business so long ago, that I don't think he can make a Presidential chair now." Uncle Abe proved himself a prophet, although at a tremendous cost to the country. "Couldn't see It in that Light." A delegation of temperance men recently sought to influence Uncle Abe to take some stringent steps to suppress intemperance in our armies. Among other reasons urged, they said our armies were often beaten because of intemperance. "Is that so?" said Undo Abe. "I've heard on all sides that the rebels drink more than our boys do, and I can't see why our boys, who drink less, are more liable to get whipped." "But you know the corrupting influence of the army in regard to drinking habits," pursued the Committee. "I've heard that, too," said Uncle Abe, "but I think they will do pretty well _if I can keep them out of Washington!_" The Committee didn't carry their measure, by a jug full. Too Tough for the Rebels.