"Because, I want to borrow some whiskey." "Then" said Abe, "_I am asleep._" And he rolled over drowsily on the flat-boat, and it passed on. Uncle Abe on Time. A Methodist dominie was lecturing Abe on his love of gambling. "Ah Abraham, it is a grievous sin--in the first place, consider the loss of time." "Yes," replied Uncle Abe, "I have often begrudged the loss of time--in _shuffling and dealing_." A Story that had no Reminder. During a conversation which took place between Uncle Abe and a distinguished western senator, the recent legislative nominations for the next presidency were incidentally referred to. "Yes," said Uncle Abe, nursing his leg with evident gratification--"yes senator, the current seems to be setting all one way!" "It does, really, seem to be setting all one way," was the answer of the senator; "but, Mr. Lincoln, as you have told me several good stories since I have been here, permit me if you please, to tell _you_ one. It has always been observed that the Atlantic Ocean, at the Straits of Gibraltar, constantly pours into the Mediterranean with tremendous volume. The Bosphorus empties into it, at its other end, and rivers are seen contributing to its waters all along its coast. It was for many years the constant puzzle of geographers, why the Mediterranean, under all these accessions, never got full, and overran its banks. After a while, however, a curious fellow took the notion of dropping a plummet in the center of the Straits, when, lo! he discovered that, though the tremendous body of water on the surface was rushing inward from the ocean, a still more powerful body was passing outward, in a counter current, some twenty feet below!" "Oh, ah!" said Uncle Abe, seriously, evidently nonplussed, for the first time in his life; "that _does not_ remind me of any story I ever heard before!" Has it "Gin Out?" We do not know what joke Uncle Abe made when he heard the news of the surrender of Plymouth. In regard to the Fort Pillow affair he made a Bunsby speech, but no joke. His last joke, of which we have any knowledge, occurred when Secretary Chase was starting on his trip to New York. Uncle Abe is like Cromwell without his military genius, and is very fond of playing practical jokes on his associates. It is said that after Cromwell had signed the warrant for the execution of King Charles he turned round to one of his colleagues and smeared his face with the ink. This he thought capital fun. Uncle Abe's jokes are of about the same quality. When Chase called upon him to say good bye, the Secretary of the Treasury asked for some information about the probable end of the war, saying it would help him greatly in getting more money in Wall street. "Do you want more money?" asked Lincoln, and then quickly added, "What! has the printing machine gin out?" This joke is fully equal to Cromwell's. A Major